Tomorrow marks 33 weeks of this pregnancy. I'm tired, sore, and apparently have a cold.
On the bright side, we made a little baby registry at Target. On the down side, I realize how much stuff we need and how little money we have.
I was going to write more, but I'm just too tired to bother!
Monday, April 8, 2013
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Good news!
Yesterday was my appointment with the perinatologist. First, we had an ultrasound. The tech measured everything, and I was watching the screen. Everything was completely average! The baby is still a girl, weighs almost 3 pounds, and is about 52 percentile in terms of size.
Then, we had our consultation with the doctor. I swear, the doctor looked like she was 12! Some Doogie Howser stuff was going on, because there is no way she was old enough to go through college and medical school! Either way, she was very nice and helpful.
I definitely DO NOT have circumvallate placenta, which is great news. She was concerned about my low-laying placenta though. Apparently, to have a "safe" vaginal delivery, your placenta should be 2cm away from your cervix. Mine is 1.91cm away (although one measurement during the ultrasound did come out to over 2cm). I'm only 29 weeks pregnant, and my uterus has a lot of growing to do. Basically, my analogy is this: When you put a piece of tape on a deflated balloon, then slowly start inflating the balloon, it looks like the tape is moving up - that's what happens to the placenta. It doesn't actually move, but the uterus stretches, creating more room between placenta and cervix. Anyway, the doctor said that at 1.91cm, she would recommend a c-section. HELL NO! I'm not being gutted like a fish over a measly .09cm! Do you know how small that is? Especially since I still have 11 weeks of growing to do. Nope, nope nope! The doc suggested a follow up ultrasound in 5 weeks just to keep on eye on it...we scheduled the appointment, but I highly doubt I'll be keeping it, unless my midwife is adamant.
Next "issue" was my amniotic fluid level. It's in the low normal range. And my first thought was...."In other words, it's normal?" She wanted yet another ultrasound to check my fluid level in a week, and told me to up my water intake. Ok, I"ll drink more water, but why do I have to recheck a normal level? Oh, because you're a surgeon and really, really want to see what my insides look like. Gotcha.
Then she tells me that if I start bleeding or if my water breaks, to go to the hospital. It took all my will power not to say "Duh!"
But really, she was very sweet, but she's a highly trained surgeon that specializes in high risk pregnancies...of course she wants me in a hospital! I'm 100% confident in my body to birth this child naturally, with no interventions. Now that I know there is nothing wrong, everything should be smooth sailing. We just have to figure out a way to pay the midwife!
Then, we had our consultation with the doctor. I swear, the doctor looked like she was 12! Some Doogie Howser stuff was going on, because there is no way she was old enough to go through college and medical school! Either way, she was very nice and helpful.
I definitely DO NOT have circumvallate placenta, which is great news. She was concerned about my low-laying placenta though. Apparently, to have a "safe" vaginal delivery, your placenta should be 2cm away from your cervix. Mine is 1.91cm away (although one measurement during the ultrasound did come out to over 2cm). I'm only 29 weeks pregnant, and my uterus has a lot of growing to do. Basically, my analogy is this: When you put a piece of tape on a deflated balloon, then slowly start inflating the balloon, it looks like the tape is moving up - that's what happens to the placenta. It doesn't actually move, but the uterus stretches, creating more room between placenta and cervix. Anyway, the doctor said that at 1.91cm, she would recommend a c-section. HELL NO! I'm not being gutted like a fish over a measly .09cm! Do you know how small that is? Especially since I still have 11 weeks of growing to do. Nope, nope nope! The doc suggested a follow up ultrasound in 5 weeks just to keep on eye on it...we scheduled the appointment, but I highly doubt I'll be keeping it, unless my midwife is adamant.
Next "issue" was my amniotic fluid level. It's in the low normal range. And my first thought was...."In other words, it's normal?" She wanted yet another ultrasound to check my fluid level in a week, and told me to up my water intake. Ok, I"ll drink more water, but why do I have to recheck a normal level? Oh, because you're a surgeon and really, really want to see what my insides look like. Gotcha.
Then she tells me that if I start bleeding or if my water breaks, to go to the hospital. It took all my will power not to say "Duh!"
But really, she was very sweet, but she's a highly trained surgeon that specializes in high risk pregnancies...of course she wants me in a hospital! I'm 100% confident in my body to birth this child naturally, with no interventions. Now that I know there is nothing wrong, everything should be smooth sailing. We just have to figure out a way to pay the midwife!
Friday, March 8, 2013
Tired and cranky and hungry, oh my!
I have an appointment with a perinatal doctor on Tuesday, so I will know early next week if I'm high risk, or fine, or what have you.
Lately, I've been one emotional mess! I started crying in the bathroom at work yesterday for no discernible reason. Every time the baby kicks, it hurts so much! I just want her to stop, but at the same time I feel relieved that she's okay. I can't sleep but I'm so so tired.
I'm still only 6 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight, which makes me happy but also worries me. I'm definitely eating, so I know I'm getting nutrients. All I really want is a giant glass of wine and a steak!
I hate to be complaining, but I'm just miserable! Only 12 weeks left...let's hope I can keep my sanity!
Lately, I've been one emotional mess! I started crying in the bathroom at work yesterday for no discernible reason. Every time the baby kicks, it hurts so much! I just want her to stop, but at the same time I feel relieved that she's okay. I can't sleep but I'm so so tired.
I'm still only 6 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight, which makes me happy but also worries me. I'm definitely eating, so I know I'm getting nutrients. All I really want is a giant glass of wine and a steak!
I hate to be complaining, but I'm just miserable! Only 12 weeks left...let's hope I can keep my sanity!
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Well, I'm glad I fired them!
I had my first check-up with Deb, my home birth midwife. Everything went well! I was measuring spot on, the baby's heart rate was good, and I spent an hour talking to a health professional for the first time in my life. It was brilliant! I also learned a lot about supplements and herbs...and I had always thought that I was so educated!
At the time of my appointment, the OBGYN office still hadn't sent over my file. I got a call when they finally did. It went a little something like this:
Deb: So, did the doctors explain your condition?
Me: Well, they mention I had a low lying placenta but that they weren't worried about it.
Deb: Oh yeah, that's moved and that's fine, but you have something called circumvallate placenta. I can't believe they didn't tell you!
Me: Nope, never mentioned it.
Deb: Okay, I'm going to need to refer you to a perinatologist, because this is a major concern - I can't believe they didn't tell you?!?!!
(This is why I'm not a script writer)
Anyway, apparently the doctors saw something weird on both of my ultrasounds, but failed to mention it to me. Circumvallate placenta (CVP) can cause some huge problems in pregnancy, from pre-term labor to miscarriage to placental abruption. I'm out of the woods for a miscarriage, and I haven't had any bleeding or severe pain, so Deb's gut instinct is that the doctors didn't know what they were looking at. The referral is just to get a clear diagnosis. However, if I do have this disease then I think my chances of home birth are gone.
I'm glad my midwife is referring me to a specialist, and quite frankly I'm pissed that my first doctors never did. What if I had a miscarriage, or had hemorrhaged and died? I'm hoping that there's nothing actually wrong with me, because my greatest fear is a hospital birth. And, if I end up being high risk, it will probably be a c-section. Next to losing the baby, a c-section would be a nightmare. I'm angry and frustrated and worried. Every little twinge has me wondering if I'm losing the baby, and every BH contraction makes me think I"m in pre-term labor. I need to get out of my own head!
The perinatologists should be calling soon to set up an appointment...I was hoping that they would call yesterday, but no such luck. Fingers crossed that they call today!
At the time of my appointment, the OBGYN office still hadn't sent over my file. I got a call when they finally did. It went a little something like this:
Deb: So, did the doctors explain your condition?
Me: Well, they mention I had a low lying placenta but that they weren't worried about it.
Deb: Oh yeah, that's moved and that's fine, but you have something called circumvallate placenta. I can't believe they didn't tell you!
Me: Nope, never mentioned it.
Deb: Okay, I'm going to need to refer you to a perinatologist, because this is a major concern - I can't believe they didn't tell you?!?!!
(This is why I'm not a script writer)
Anyway, apparently the doctors saw something weird on both of my ultrasounds, but failed to mention it to me. Circumvallate placenta (CVP) can cause some huge problems in pregnancy, from pre-term labor to miscarriage to placental abruption. I'm out of the woods for a miscarriage, and I haven't had any bleeding or severe pain, so Deb's gut instinct is that the doctors didn't know what they were looking at. The referral is just to get a clear diagnosis. However, if I do have this disease then I think my chances of home birth are gone.
I'm glad my midwife is referring me to a specialist, and quite frankly I'm pissed that my first doctors never did. What if I had a miscarriage, or had hemorrhaged and died? I'm hoping that there's nothing actually wrong with me, because my greatest fear is a hospital birth. And, if I end up being high risk, it will probably be a c-section. Next to losing the baby, a c-section would be a nightmare. I'm angry and frustrated and worried. Every little twinge has me wondering if I'm losing the baby, and every BH contraction makes me think I"m in pre-term labor. I need to get out of my own head!
The perinatologists should be calling soon to set up an appointment...I was hoping that they would call yesterday, but no such luck. Fingers crossed that they call today!
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Switching providers at 24 weeks
At my last check-up at the OB-GYN practice I had been using, the midwife I was primarily working with told me that she wouldn't be there for my delivery.
"Vacation?" I asked. She shook her head. No, not vacation - she was leaving the practice.
"Why? Where are you going?" She explained that she was leaving to work at a more midwife friendly hospital. More midwife friendly? I immediately started asking question.
The practice I had been using consisted of four midwives and two OB-GYNs. I knew that there was a chance that "my' midwife might not attend my delivery. However, once she was leaving, she felt that she could be more candid about the practices of the hospital I would be delivering in. It sounded very much like the last hospital I delivered in - quick to administer Pitocin to speed up labor, more than happy to give you an epidural, making you lay in bed while they monitor the (unnaturally strong because of Pit) contractions, use of forceps, and other red-flags. I left that appointment feeling defeated. I am strong, and well-educated about patients rights. I could very well fight to have the birth that I want, but why should I? Why should I have to check and double check that my rights aren't being violated? Shouldn't I have some say? Having a child is not an illness - it's a perfectly natural thing that doesn't need to be medicated or messed with!
I told J that enough was enough - I wanted a home birth! I wanted one to begin with, but always figured it would be too expensive, or the midwives wouldn't travel out as far as we are. Well, there was only one way to find out! I started emailing people, and finally got the name of a local midwife, Deb. We emailed back and forth a bit, and after having to reschedule because of an ice storm, we met for a consultation.
Her office is a bit of a drive for us (about an hour) but it's cute and cozy! I fell in love with her almost instantly! We were scheduled for a half hour, but ended up staying a full hour! She had great answers for all of our questions, and we discovered that it's cheaper to have a home birth, even though she doesn't take insurance. As soon as we got in the car, I looked at J and said "So, we're doing this, right??" He agreed.
Now, I just have to have my files transferred to her office, and go on my merry way. I'm super excited that I'll be able to have a peaceful birth, in my own home, without the stress of doctors, nurses, IVs, machines, fluorescent lights and hospital smells.
I can't wait to meet our newest little girl!!!
"Vacation?" I asked. She shook her head. No, not vacation - she was leaving the practice.
"Why? Where are you going?" She explained that she was leaving to work at a more midwife friendly hospital. More midwife friendly? I immediately started asking question.
The practice I had been using consisted of four midwives and two OB-GYNs. I knew that there was a chance that "my' midwife might not attend my delivery. However, once she was leaving, she felt that she could be more candid about the practices of the hospital I would be delivering in. It sounded very much like the last hospital I delivered in - quick to administer Pitocin to speed up labor, more than happy to give you an epidural, making you lay in bed while they monitor the (unnaturally strong because of Pit) contractions, use of forceps, and other red-flags. I left that appointment feeling defeated. I am strong, and well-educated about patients rights. I could very well fight to have the birth that I want, but why should I? Why should I have to check and double check that my rights aren't being violated? Shouldn't I have some say? Having a child is not an illness - it's a perfectly natural thing that doesn't need to be medicated or messed with!
I told J that enough was enough - I wanted a home birth! I wanted one to begin with, but always figured it would be too expensive, or the midwives wouldn't travel out as far as we are. Well, there was only one way to find out! I started emailing people, and finally got the name of a local midwife, Deb. We emailed back and forth a bit, and after having to reschedule because of an ice storm, we met for a consultation.
Her office is a bit of a drive for us (about an hour) but it's cute and cozy! I fell in love with her almost instantly! We were scheduled for a half hour, but ended up staying a full hour! She had great answers for all of our questions, and we discovered that it's cheaper to have a home birth, even though she doesn't take insurance. As soon as we got in the car, I looked at J and said "So, we're doing this, right??" He agreed.
Now, I just have to have my files transferred to her office, and go on my merry way. I'm super excited that I'll be able to have a peaceful birth, in my own home, without the stress of doctors, nurses, IVs, machines, fluorescent lights and hospital smells.
I can't wait to meet our newest little girl!!!
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Changing diapers changed my mind
Now that I'm pregnant with baby girl #2, I've been thinking about all the ways I've changed my views on certain things. Parenthood can flip your opinion faster than a toddler destroys a living room! My advice to new moms (and dads): Try to not say that you'll never do something, or always do something, because you will eat your words! That said, here are some things I've changed my mind on since having a child.
#1. Smoking
I smoked in high school and in college. Of course I knew how bad it was for me, but what did I care? I was 18 going to live forever! Plus, I was just so super cool, smokin' my cig, saying things like "Oh my God, I totally need a cigarette right now!!" Most of my friends smoked, and it was a social thing, especially at the bar. Cigarettes were practically currency (not in the prison sense, but still...). When one of my best friends got pregnant our senior year, I was a little put out that I could no longer smoke around her. Like, really? What's the big deal? I mean, I'll open the window!
Fast forward to June, 2009. Holding that positive test in my hand, I knew my smoking days were long gone (they had been gone for over a year at that point, but I still had the option). Now, I'm like a smoke detector! I work on a smoke-free campus, and I can pin point with amazing accuracy which students smoke, which staff members smoke, and how long go their last puff was. I walk by smokers standing outside of buildings and dramatically hold my breath as I pass through their fog of nicotine. If I know someone smokes in their home, Little Toots will never go there. My mother-in-law smokes, but she does so respectfully. She goes far away to have a cigarette, washes her and hand and brushes her teeth after, and if possible she changes her clothes.
It drives me bonkers to see mothers with a cigarette in one hand and a baby in the other. I want to scream at them "You are KILLING YOUR CHILD!" Since having Little Toots, smoking now equals coughing, ear infections, SIDS, asthma, and a half dozen other preventable illnesses. This is by far my biggest change of heart.
#2. Nursing Toddlers
Before, and even after, having Little Toots, I felt that nursing was for babies and toddlers should be weaned. I nursed Little Toots for 8 months. She stopped being interested in it, and I called it baby-led weaning. I now realize that she was probably on a nursing strike, and I should have kept at it. I used to think that toddlers nursing was a little creepy. I mean, here is this great big kid, with teeth, the ability to walk and talk, yet they are drinking milk from their mother's breast! Ugh! Since then, I've done a TON of research and I realize the value of full-term nursing. Every worldwide health organization recognizes the benefits of breastfeeding until two years of age. I fully intend to nurse the newest little one as long as possible! Here is the link to The World Health Organization
#3. Male Infant Circumcision
Oh, the things I've learned about circumcision! Originally, I was in the "let the dad decide" camp, now I'm firmly against cutting perfect baby boys! I don't even think it's a "personal decision" for parents to make. It's genital mutilation plain and simple. There's no medical benefit, and we're not religious so that wouldn't make a difference to us. Basically, it's a cosmetic surgery and I would never alter my daughter, so why my son? I'm a little relieved that I'm having another girl, so we wouldn't have to worry about it, but I truly hope this barbaric practice ends, and soon! Check out The Whole Network to find out more...
These are just a few things that have changed since becoming a mother...and I'm sure that my opinions on other things as I learn how to manage two children!
#1. Smoking
I smoked in high school and in college. Of course I knew how bad it was for me, but what did I care? I was 18 going to live forever! Plus, I was just so super cool, smokin' my cig, saying things like "Oh my God, I totally need a cigarette right now!!" Most of my friends smoked, and it was a social thing, especially at the bar. Cigarettes were practically currency (not in the prison sense, but still...). When one of my best friends got pregnant our senior year, I was a little put out that I could no longer smoke around her. Like, really? What's the big deal? I mean, I'll open the window!
Fast forward to June, 2009. Holding that positive test in my hand, I knew my smoking days were long gone (they had been gone for over a year at that point, but I still had the option). Now, I'm like a smoke detector! I work on a smoke-free campus, and I can pin point with amazing accuracy which students smoke, which staff members smoke, and how long go their last puff was. I walk by smokers standing outside of buildings and dramatically hold my breath as I pass through their fog of nicotine. If I know someone smokes in their home, Little Toots will never go there. My mother-in-law smokes, but she does so respectfully. She goes far away to have a cigarette, washes her and hand and brushes her teeth after, and if possible she changes her clothes.
It drives me bonkers to see mothers with a cigarette in one hand and a baby in the other. I want to scream at them "You are KILLING YOUR CHILD!" Since having Little Toots, smoking now equals coughing, ear infections, SIDS, asthma, and a half dozen other preventable illnesses. This is by far my biggest change of heart.
#2. Nursing Toddlers
Before, and even after, having Little Toots, I felt that nursing was for babies and toddlers should be weaned. I nursed Little Toots for 8 months. She stopped being interested in it, and I called it baby-led weaning. I now realize that she was probably on a nursing strike, and I should have kept at it. I used to think that toddlers nursing was a little creepy. I mean, here is this great big kid, with teeth, the ability to walk and talk, yet they are drinking milk from their mother's breast! Ugh! Since then, I've done a TON of research and I realize the value of full-term nursing. Every worldwide health organization recognizes the benefits of breastfeeding until two years of age. I fully intend to nurse the newest little one as long as possible! Here is the link to The World Health Organization
#3. Male Infant Circumcision
Oh, the things I've learned about circumcision! Originally, I was in the "let the dad decide" camp, now I'm firmly against cutting perfect baby boys! I don't even think it's a "personal decision" for parents to make. It's genital mutilation plain and simple. There's no medical benefit, and we're not religious so that wouldn't make a difference to us. Basically, it's a cosmetic surgery and I would never alter my daughter, so why my son? I'm a little relieved that I'm having another girl, so we wouldn't have to worry about it, but I truly hope this barbaric practice ends, and soon! Check out The Whole Network to find out more...
These are just a few things that have changed since becoming a mother...and I'm sure that my opinions on other things as I learn how to manage two children!
Friday, November 30, 2012
Week 14
It's officially the second trimester, and I should be feeling great, right?
Hmm, well, not so much.
I went for a check-up on Tuesday, and I've lost four more pounds, which makes it a grand total of twelve pounds down since finding out I was pregnant. I'm still sick most days, and everything tastes awful. This has been the most miserable pregnancy! I just can't wait to have the baby...
Hmm, well, not so much.
I went for a check-up on Tuesday, and I've lost four more pounds, which makes it a grand total of twelve pounds down since finding out I was pregnant. I'm still sick most days, and everything tastes awful. This has been the most miserable pregnancy! I just can't wait to have the baby...
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Week 8
I weighed myself this morning, and I'm down 5 pounds. I'm super worried! I've been throwing up all hours of the day and night, and the gagging, nauseous feeling never goes away. I've missed 3 and half days of work. I called the doctor's office yesterday, and the on-call midwife gave me some over the counter remedies (which aren't working) and told me to go to the ER if I get bad enough. She can't prescribe anything until I'm an established patient, and my first appointment is next week. She didn't even offer to get me in sooner! I don't want to go to the ER because I have really crappy insurance, and it will cost a fortune!
I'm really depressed, and I'm homesick for Saranac Lake. The doctor up there would have seen me IMMEDIATELY for something like this. Thank goodness my mother-in-law is retired now. She came over yesterday to take care of me, and she's coming back today. I can't even be a good mom because I'm so sick.
I really think this baby might be twins, just based on how sick I am. I hope not, because it would be overwhelming.
I really just wish I could feel better...
I'm really depressed, and I'm homesick for Saranac Lake. The doctor up there would have seen me IMMEDIATELY for something like this. Thank goodness my mother-in-law is retired now. She came over yesterday to take care of me, and she's coming back today. I can't even be a good mom because I'm so sick.
I really think this baby might be twins, just based on how sick I am. I hope not, because it would be overwhelming.
I really just wish I could feel better...
Monday, October 8, 2012
Week 6
Is there a stealthy way to vomit at work? If there is, I haven't figured it out! Seriously, after 5 trips to the bathroom in a two hour period, people are going to start wondering what's wrong with me!
My pants are being held together by a rubber band - well, more specifically, one of Toots hair ties.
I feel liked crap! I know it's worth it, but UGH! I just want to crawl in to bed and not come out until the next trimester!
My pants are being held together by a rubber band - well, more specifically, one of Toots hair ties.
I feel liked crap! I know it's worth it, but UGH! I just want to crawl in to bed and not come out until the next trimester!
Friday, September 28, 2012
5 weeks!
5 weeks pregnant, and what's changed? Well, for starters....I can't fit into my pants!! What the heck?! Now, I know that you're supposed to "show" sooner with your second (or third, or fourth) but this is ridiculous!! I'm getting a little round belly, and it's getting harder to hide.
The morning sickness hasn't been too bad. I'm mostly just nauseous, but I haven't puked - yet. With Little Toots, I was sick every day for 15 weeks, so I think it's just a matter of time before I start bowing to the porcelain goddess.
My boobs are huge.
Just to give you an idea...
I have to pee a lot, but that's not really any different than any other time! LOL
The only other thing that's really changed is the fact that I want to murder my husband on an hourly basis. Everything he says or does pisses me off. I'm going to assume I'm hormonal, but I frequently picture me kneeing him directly in the testicles. When I get home, I'm tired, and I don't want to do all the cleaning that he expects to be done before he gets home. I literally have two hours between walking in the door and J pulling in the driveway. In that amount of time, I feed the kid, the dog, the fish, do the dishes, get Toots to use the potty and/or clean up the mess she's made in her pants, give her a bath, and usually something extra like start the laundry. No, I'm not vacuuming. No, I'm not cleaning the toilets. I just WANT TO SIT DOWN!! I feel like he was much more supportive during my first pregnancy, but then again we didn't have a toddler running around then...
Meanwhile, my first appointment isn't for another MONTH! It seems so far away, I don't know if I can wait!
Well, that's it for now - stayed tuned!
The morning sickness hasn't been too bad. I'm mostly just nauseous, but I haven't puked - yet. With Little Toots, I was sick every day for 15 weeks, so I think it's just a matter of time before I start bowing to the porcelain goddess.
My boobs are huge.
I have to pee a lot, but that's not really any different than any other time! LOL
The only other thing that's really changed is the fact that I want to murder my husband on an hourly basis. Everything he says or does pisses me off. I'm going to assume I'm hormonal, but I frequently picture me kneeing him directly in the testicles. When I get home, I'm tired, and I don't want to do all the cleaning that he expects to be done before he gets home. I literally have two hours between walking in the door and J pulling in the driveway. In that amount of time, I feed the kid, the dog, the fish, do the dishes, get Toots to use the potty and/or clean up the mess she's made in her pants, give her a bath, and usually something extra like start the laundry. No, I'm not vacuuming. No, I'm not cleaning the toilets. I just WANT TO SIT DOWN!! I feel like he was much more supportive during my first pregnancy, but then again we didn't have a toddler running around then...
Meanwhile, my first appointment isn't for another MONTH! It seems so far away, I don't know if I can wait!
Well, that's it for now - stayed tuned!
Saturday, September 15, 2012
It's official!
After two cycles of trying, J and I found out this morning that I'm pregnant! YAY
As if on cue, the strange bodily signs started - acne, cramps, and feeling super tired. So far, during my five seconds of pregnancy, it already feels totally different than the first time! Maybe this means it's a boy? Only time will tell!
I'll be updating as frequently as I can, as work has kind of taken over my life. Things should calm down after October, and I'll be officially announcing around Thanksgiving!
As if on cue, the strange bodily signs started - acne, cramps, and feeling super tired. So far, during my five seconds of pregnancy, it already feels totally different than the first time! Maybe this means it's a boy? Only time will tell!
I'll be updating as frequently as I can, as work has kind of taken over my life. Things should calm down after October, and I'll be officially announcing around Thanksgiving!
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
BFP?
Little Toots and J came to visit me at work yesterday. It was so nice! We took her over to the science building to see the fish and the stuffed owls. On our way out, we stopped by to say hi to my favorite librarian, who promptly asked me if I was "working on something in there" pointing to my stomach. Note to self: burn the dress I was wearing!
But, the comment gave me that familiar "I want to pee on a stick" tingle. So, I did.
Two lines popped up immediately! So, I took a different brand of test, and no line on that one. I sent it to a tweaker...She pulled a veryveryvery faint line (where the arrow is)
Now I'm stuck in that "Am I or aren't I" limbo. I feel yucky, a little nauseated, crampy and bloated. But that could be anything! Those cheap internet tests are known for giving false positives, so I don't want to do my happy dance or call people yet.
Thank goodness no one reads my blog!
I wasn't even supposed to test until Thursday! ACK! I hope it's truly positive, and not some mead joke like the last one. Only time will tell!
But, the comment gave me that familiar "I want to pee on a stick" tingle. So, I did.
Two lines popped up immediately! So, I took a different brand of test, and no line on that one. I sent it to a tweaker...She pulled a veryveryvery faint line (where the arrow is)
Now I'm stuck in that "Am I or aren't I" limbo. I feel yucky, a little nauseated, crampy and bloated. But that could be anything! Those cheap internet tests are known for giving false positives, so I don't want to do my happy dance or call people yet.
Thank goodness no one reads my blog!
I wasn't even supposed to test until Thursday! ACK! I hope it's truly positive, and not some mead joke like the last one. Only time will tell!
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Or maybe not...
It looks like yesterday's test was wrong. False positive. Positive bummer.
That's alright, though. It just means that we have to keep trying. Who knows? I may still come up positive this month!
Here's a list of things I can still do:
Drink coffee
Drink wine
Sleep on my tummy
Smell food without wanting to puke
Ride rollercoasters
Eat soft cheese
Eat sushi
The list goes on and on!
That's alright, though. It just means that we have to keep trying. Who knows? I may still come up positive this month!
Here's a list of things I can still do:
Drink coffee
Drink wine
Sleep on my tummy
Smell food without wanting to puke
Ride rollercoasters
Eat soft cheese
Eat sushi
The list goes on and on!
Monday, August 6, 2012
Hi, I'm Megan, and I'm a POAS Addict
Trying to conceive is a tricky business - or so I've heard. I've read instances of women trying for YEARS and not being able to make a baby without the help of outside forces. Studies say that there's only a 15% chance of getting pregnant each month. The odds are NOT in your favor.
When we decided that having a baby might not be the worst thing in the world, I stopped taking birth control and let nature takes it's course. Well, nature must have been on the Autobahn, because two weeks later I was pregnant! I was shocked, but excited. Now, she's a smart, bubbly two-year-old, and she's asking for a sister. And a brother. You know, like Dora.
J and I talked about it, and came to the conclusion that Little Toots would be a great big sister. This time, though, we were going to be smart. I planned and plotted, I even made a schedule for when we should *ahem* you know. This was two weeks ago.
Two weeks ago.
If you ever get bored, you should check out some message boards for women trying to conceive. They are amazing! There is this phenomenon called POAS addiction. POAS stands for Pee On A Stick. Yes, that's right. Women go nuts about testing for pregnancy. I have to admit, I'm one of them. I don't know why. I suppose it lets you feel like you're in control of your body. Plus, the sooner you know you're prego, the sooner you can start gorging on pickles and ice cream! Being an addict and enabling my addiction by stock piling pregnancy tests (purchased before we even discussed having another kid, I might add), I decided to POAS.
I'm not expert on fertility or menstrual cycles or anything, but I get the basics. Typically, women have 28 day cycles. Typically, you ovulate on cycle day 14. Typically, you can get a positive pregnancy test on cycle day 24. Typically.
I'm on cycle day 13. Biologically speaking there is no way I could be pregnant right now. And yet, what do I see?
Two little pink lines staring at me.
Is it a fluke? A false positive? Only time, copious amounts of urine, and a new pregnancy test will tell!
I took pictures of my pee stick ( gross, I know, but don't judge!) and I submitted them to these "test tweakers". Basically, they photoshop your pregnancy test to see if they can determine if there really is a positive line. These women are wonderful - and awful. They give hope, crush dreams, and will even decorate a picture for you if it is in fact positive.
Here are the results:
I'm buying more tests after work. It's gonna be a pee party!
When we decided that having a baby might not be the worst thing in the world, I stopped taking birth control and let nature takes it's course. Well, nature must have been on the Autobahn, because two weeks later I was pregnant! I was shocked, but excited. Now, she's a smart, bubbly two-year-old, and she's asking for a sister. And a brother. You know, like Dora.
J and I talked about it, and came to the conclusion that Little Toots would be a great big sister. This time, though, we were going to be smart. I planned and plotted, I even made a schedule for when we should *ahem* you know. This was two weeks ago.
Two weeks ago.
If you ever get bored, you should check out some message boards for women trying to conceive. They are amazing! There is this phenomenon called POAS addiction. POAS stands for Pee On A Stick. Yes, that's right. Women go nuts about testing for pregnancy. I have to admit, I'm one of them. I don't know why. I suppose it lets you feel like you're in control of your body. Plus, the sooner you know you're prego, the sooner you can start gorging on pickles and ice cream! Being an addict and enabling my addiction by stock piling pregnancy tests (purchased before we even discussed having another kid, I might add), I decided to POAS.
I'm not expert on fertility or menstrual cycles or anything, but I get the basics. Typically, women have 28 day cycles. Typically, you ovulate on cycle day 14. Typically, you can get a positive pregnancy test on cycle day 24. Typically.
I'm on cycle day 13. Biologically speaking there is no way I could be pregnant right now. And yet, what do I see?
Two little pink lines staring at me.
Is it a fluke? A false positive? Only time, copious amounts of urine, and a new pregnancy test will tell!
I took pictures of my pee stick ( gross, I know, but don't judge!) and I submitted them to these "test tweakers". Basically, they photoshop your pregnancy test to see if they can determine if there really is a positive line. These women are wonderful - and awful. They give hope, crush dreams, and will even decorate a picture for you if it is in fact positive.
Here are the results:
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Check that off my bucket list!
It's still unbelievable. I really did it! I ran a half marathon!! That's 13.1 miles! To be fair, I didn't run the whole thing - I didn't even try to. My training had been sporadic, so I knew that running the whole thing would be impossible. My game plan was run for 3 minutes, walk for 2. And if that failed, just keep putting one foot in front of the other until I crossed that finish line. Quitting was NOT an option!
I was so nervous at the beginning of the race. I mean, there were all these super-fit, athletic people doing these impressive looking stretches, talking about "fueling" and wearing these water bottle belts. I felt so out of my league! Then, the announcer told all racers to start lining up. Oh my God Ohmygod ohmygod, am I really doing this?!
The music was pumping, and people were cheering. It was pretty exhilarating. The countdown began, and we were off! Well, sort of. There were so many people that it actually took a few minutes for the line to get going. I took a nice, leisurely stroll to the starting point, then I starting jogging. I had a timer app set for my intervals, and it was working nicely. The first 3 miles were around the lake, and it was beautiful. The sun wasn't too hot yet, and there was plenty of shade. It seemed to fly by! In between mile 3 and 4, I ran by the shop that J used to work in, and he was standing out there with Little Toots. Seeing them was just the pick-me-up I needed. I gave Tooties a kiss, and asked what time it was, but J didn't know. I kept running.
At mile 5, I just had to see what time it was. I was thinking it would be like 9:30 because I'm so slow...but it was only 8:48! I ran 5 miles in 48 minutes!! I was super thrilled. Unfortunately, checking the time messed up my interval app, and it started randomly beeping. I completely lost track of if I should be walking or running. At mile 7, I gave in and started walking. I met a young girl whose mother and sister had left her in the dust, so we walked together. At mile 10, I was hurting. My hips were screaming, and my lower back hurt. It was weird - I thought for sure that my feet and calves would cramp, but instead it was my abs and lower back. Now I know what I need to work on!
The last 1.1 mile of the race seemed like it was completely uphill, but I saw J and Tooties again! I made it to the last leg, and I ran across the finish line! It took me 3 hours, 20 minutes and 57 seconds, but I didn't even come in last! Over 100 people finished after me *brushes off shoulder*
Two days later, I'm still sore, but I feel like an Amazon! I'm so proud of myself, and Tooties told me that she wants to run fast like mommy. That makes the blisters and the fatigue worth it!
And crazy me, I think I'm signing up for another 13.1 in October!
I was so nervous at the beginning of the race. I mean, there were all these super-fit, athletic people doing these impressive looking stretches, talking about "fueling" and wearing these water bottle belts. I felt so out of my league! Then, the announcer told all racers to start lining up. Oh my God Ohmygod ohmygod, am I really doing this?!
The music was pumping, and people were cheering. It was pretty exhilarating. The countdown began, and we were off! Well, sort of. There were so many people that it actually took a few minutes for the line to get going. I took a nice, leisurely stroll to the starting point, then I starting jogging. I had a timer app set for my intervals, and it was working nicely. The first 3 miles were around the lake, and it was beautiful. The sun wasn't too hot yet, and there was plenty of shade. It seemed to fly by! In between mile 3 and 4, I ran by the shop that J used to work in, and he was standing out there with Little Toots. Seeing them was just the pick-me-up I needed. I gave Tooties a kiss, and asked what time it was, but J didn't know. I kept running.
At mile 5, I just had to see what time it was. I was thinking it would be like 9:30 because I'm so slow...but it was only 8:48! I ran 5 miles in 48 minutes!! I was super thrilled. Unfortunately, checking the time messed up my interval app, and it started randomly beeping. I completely lost track of if I should be walking or running. At mile 7, I gave in and started walking. I met a young girl whose mother and sister had left her in the dust, so we walked together. At mile 10, I was hurting. My hips were screaming, and my lower back hurt. It was weird - I thought for sure that my feet and calves would cramp, but instead it was my abs and lower back. Now I know what I need to work on!
The last 1.1 mile of the race seemed like it was completely uphill, but I saw J and Tooties again! I made it to the last leg, and I ran across the finish line! It took me 3 hours, 20 minutes and 57 seconds, but I didn't even come in last! Over 100 people finished after me *brushes off shoulder*
Two days later, I'm still sore, but I feel like an Amazon! I'm so proud of myself, and Tooties told me that she wants to run fast like mommy. That makes the blisters and the fatigue worth it!
And crazy me, I think I'm signing up for another 13.1 in October!
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
National Running Day
I'm not running for glory, or to win. I'm running to show my daughter that she can do anything she wants to do. I could tell her that she's strong and beautiful and capable, but how will she ever believe it unless she can actually witness someone (like me) BEING strong and beautiful and capable. I didn't have anyone like that in my life, and I spent much of my youth thinking that OTHER PEOPLE could run 13.1 miles, or write a book, or climb Mt. Everest, but not me. I was plain. I was boring. I was average. Until one day I decided that I don't want to be plain and average, I want to be remarkable. So, even if it means coming in DEAD LAST, I will finish my 13.1 miles to show my daughter that she can do whatever she decides is worth doing.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Lessons from my Father
I am six years old, and I really, really have to pee. I have just been playing with my sister and our dad, building a rad blanket fort out of a My Little Pony sleeping bag and the orange and blue Playskool slide, the kind that makes your hair stand on end with static electricity if you are in a 5 foot radius. Holding my legs together, I run up the stairs to the bathroom. The toilet is wedged in a little corner, right next to the bathtub. I can easily see the shower curtain in the mirror over the sink. I wriggle out of my pants and sit down, when all of a sudden... "ROAR!" My dad flings open the shower curtain, jumps out the bathroom, and quite literally scares the piss out of me.
It's not the first time, nor will it be the last. At least he wasn't wearing the green Halloween mask.
This is the most important lesson I learned from my father: Expect the unexpected. Monsters jump out the shadows, and you have to be prepared. Some may argue that he made me a paranoid person, but I choose to use the word 'cautious'. I check behind the shower curtain before dropping trou, peek into the backseat of my car before I unlock the door, and I prefer to sit facing a door at a restaurant. Nothing can surprise you if you're looking for it.
It's not the first time, nor will it be the last. At least he wasn't wearing the green Halloween mask.
This is the most important lesson I learned from my father: Expect the unexpected. Monsters jump out the shadows, and you have to be prepared. Some may argue that he made me a paranoid person, but I choose to use the word 'cautious'. I check behind the shower curtain before dropping trou, peek into the backseat of my car before I unlock the door, and I prefer to sit facing a door at a restaurant. Nothing can surprise you if you're looking for it.
Was this my dad’s
intention? To make me a cautious
person? To keep me out of danger? No, probably not. I think he really just liked to scare the
pants off me and my little sister. But,
now that I look for that “ROAR” to come at me, out of nowhere, I can forgive
the emotional scarring and night terrors because I know I’m a safer
person. I’ve never been mugged, attacked,
or even in a bad car accident, and I really do think it’s because I’m
constantly on the look-out for danger.
Don’t think I’m an
overcautious recluse, though. I take
chances, and have adventures. I’m no
Evil Kenevil , but I don’t let fear stop me from doing something I really want
to do. I’ve been rock climbing, eaten
sushi, and have sung in front of one thousand people. I was nervous, but I did it. Those are the kind of risks people should
take in their life. Walking down a dark alley
wearing your best jewelry? Not so much.
Thanks to my dad’s
sadistic sense of humor, I learned a very important lesson: Expect the
unexpected…and always check behind the shower curtain.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Home is where your heart is...
After living in crappy apartments, I decided that enough was enough. The first house we looked at was still available, and after some negotiating, we decided to take it!
It's absolutely perfect for us - three bedrooms, a large kitchen, office, dining room, living room and a HUGE yard. We're so happy!
I will post pictures when we're more unpacked. We've been there for a month, and things are still not quite finished - hanging pictures and finding a home for all of our books. Little Toots love it, and still calls it "new house". I hope we can buy it in the future.
Sorry this is such a short post! I felt like I needed to end the story of finding a place to live, but I don't have time to write it creatively.
On a side note, tomorrow starts Camp Nanowrimo! It's another chance to write 50,000 words in one month. Go to campnanowrimo.org to sign up!
Good luck!
It's absolutely perfect for us - three bedrooms, a large kitchen, office, dining room, living room and a HUGE yard. We're so happy!
I will post pictures when we're more unpacked. We've been there for a month, and things are still not quite finished - hanging pictures and finding a home for all of our books. Little Toots love it, and still calls it "new house". I hope we can buy it in the future.
Sorry this is such a short post! I felt like I needed to end the story of finding a place to live, but I don't have time to write it creatively.
On a side note, tomorrow starts Camp Nanowrimo! It's another chance to write 50,000 words in one month. Go to campnanowrimo.org to sign up!
Good luck!
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Apartment #2 - The Saga Continues
After our terrible first experience in our brand new city, I was a little wary of our new apartment. J found it in a day, literally, and I relinquished all power. I vaguely knew where it was, but that was about it. Three bedrooms, two toilets, animals permitted? Fine by me. I still had the worst stomach flu of my life, so I stayed at my in-laws while my dad, my dad-in-law, and J moved our belongings from Douche-Bag Dave's freezing house to our new place. I showed up sometime Saturday afternoon, still queasy, but excited to be reunited with my stuff!
The place itself wasn't bad - it was big, it came with a washer and a drier, there were built-in bookshelves and hardwood floors. It wasn't ideal, but hey, at least there was heat, amiright?? How naive we were!
That night, our downstairs neighbor came home rather late, and blared her TV. It woke me up, and kind of scared me because I was dead asleep and all of a sudden I heard these very loud, very masculine voices! It sounded like it was in my bedroom! After I realized what it was, I was less scared but more annoyed. I let it pass, and somehow I fell asleep again.
The next night, the same neighbor came home drunk off her ass, with friends, and woke us up - AGAIN. This time J went over to ask her to kindly shut the f up. From what he told me, she looked at him like he was from another planet because she was so drunk she couldn't understand him. Ugh. So, we dragged our mattress in to the spare room (which was supposed to be Toots play room). At that moment, we realized we couldn't live there.
I forgot to mention, this loud, drunk neighbor wasn't some college kid. Oh no. She was at least 60 years old, and out of work on "disability" for her "hurt back". Riiiiight. And every single night, she would come home and wake up me. Weekends were the worst, especially when SU was playing because her son-in-law would scream at the TV (because that will TOTALLY help them win!)
Enough was enough. We needed to find a home...
TO BE CONTINUED
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