10 days past my EDD. Seriously?? I thought I would have this baby at 39 weeks. All the signs were there, increased Braxton-Hicks contractions, sore hips, everything. May 28th came....and went. My little May flower has turned into a June bug.
When I was in labor for Little Toots, I remember it hurting, but being manageable. Every contraction was one step closer to holding my baby. I breathed in through my nose, out through my mouth, and wondered why some women screamed and cried and begged for drugs. It was no big deal, just labor, not pain, just strong surges.
Now, after 4 days of start and stop contractions, I think I'm starting to get it. I'm having these really intense contractions, sometimes 10 minutes apart, sometimes 3 minutes apart (sometimes hours apart), and there is no end in sight. It's so hard to say "I am strong" when I feel like I'm at the mercy of my body.
I know waiting it out is better than the alternative. There is a reason she isn't ready to be born yet, and to induce labor simply because I'm losing my mind is selfish. Motherhood means doing what is best for your babies, always, and if she needs time, then time she shall have. If I was with an OB or midwife that worked in a hospital, they would be pushing me to induce, and feeling as miserable as I do, I might consider it. My will might crumble, and I might just throw my hands up and say "Fine, I quit!" But that's not me. Anyone who knows me know that I'm strong willed, and if I say I'm having this baby at home, then I'm having this baby at home!
For now, I'll just practice my breathing and find the best way to cope with these spine-splitting contractions, talk to my baby, and urge her to come out. I have a non-stress test this afternoon, just to make sure everything is okay (I'm sure it is). No woman has been pregnant forever, so eventually this baby WILL come out!
