Week 14

It's officially the second trimester, and I should be feeling great, right?

Hmm, well, not so much.

I went for a check-up on Tuesday, and I've lost four more pounds, which makes it a grand total of twelve pounds down since finding out I was pregnant.  I'm still sick most days, and everything tastes awful.  This has been the most miserable pregnancy!  I just can't wait to have the baby...

Week 8

I weighed myself this morning, and I'm down 5 pounds.  I'm super worried!  I've been throwing up all hours of the day and night, and the gagging, nauseous feeling never goes away.  I've missed 3 and half days of work.  I called the doctor's office yesterday, and the on-call midwife gave me some over the counter remedies (which aren't working) and told me to go to the ER if I get bad enough.  She can't prescribe anything until I'm an established patient, and my first appointment is next week.  She didn't even offer to get me in sooner!  I don't want to go to the ER because I have really crappy insurance, and it will cost a fortune!

I'm really depressed, and I'm homesick for Saranac Lake.  The doctor up there would have seen me IMMEDIATELY for something like this.  Thank goodness my mother-in-law is retired now.  She came over yesterday to take care of me, and she's coming back today.  I can't even be a good mom because I'm so sick.

I really think this baby might be twins, just based on how sick I am.  I hope not, because it would be overwhelming.

I really just wish I could feel better...

Week 6

Is there a stealthy way to vomit at work?  If there is, I haven't figured it out!  Seriously, after 5 trips to the bathroom in a two hour period, people are going to start wondering what's wrong with me!

My pants are being held together by a rubber band - well, more specifically, one of Toots hair ties.

I feel liked crap!  I know it's worth it, but UGH!  I just want to crawl in to bed and not come out until the next trimester!

5 weeks!

5 weeks pregnant, and what's changed?  Well, for starters....I can't fit into my pants!!  What the heck?!  Now, I know that you're supposed to "show" sooner with your second (or third, or fourth) but this is ridiculous!!  I'm getting a little round belly, and it's getting harder to hide.

The morning sickness hasn't been too bad.  I'm mostly just nauseous, but I haven't puked - yet.  With Little Toots, I was sick every day for 15 weeks, so I think it's just a matter of time before I start bowing to the porcelain goddess.

My boobs are huge.  Just to give you an idea...

I have to pee a lot, but that's not really any different than any other time!  LOL

The only other thing that's really changed is the fact that I want to murder my husband on an hourly basis.  Everything he says or does pisses me off.  I'm going to assume I'm hormonal, but I frequently picture me kneeing him directly in the testicles.  When I get home, I'm tired, and I don't want to do all the cleaning that he expects to be done before he gets home.  I literally have two hours between walking in the door and J pulling in the driveway.  In that amount of time, I feed the kid, the dog, the fish, do the dishes, get Toots to use the potty and/or clean up the mess she's made in her pants, give her a bath, and usually something extra like start the laundry.  No, I'm not vacuuming.  No, I'm not cleaning the toilets.  I just WANT TO SIT DOWN!!  I feel like he was much more supportive during my first pregnancy, but then again we didn't have a toddler running around then...

Meanwhile, my first appointment isn't for another MONTH! It seems so far away, I don't know if I can wait!

Well, that's it for now - stayed tuned!

It's official!

After two cycles of trying, J and I found out this morning that I'm pregnant!  YAY

As if on cue, the strange bodily signs started - acne, cramps, and feeling super tired.  So far, during my five seconds of pregnancy, it already feels totally different than the first time!  Maybe this means it's a boy?  Only time will tell!

I'll be updating as frequently as I can, as work has kind of taken over my life.  Things should calm down after October, and I'll be officially announcing around Thanksgiving!

4 years ago...

 

Happy Anniversary to the love of my life!!

BFP?

Little Toots and J came to visit me at work yesterday.  It was so nice!  We took her over to the science building to see the fish and the stuffed owls.  On our way out, we stopped by to say hi to my favorite librarian, who promptly asked me if I was "working on something in there" pointing to my stomach.  Note to self: burn the dress I was wearing!

But, the comment gave me that familiar "I want to pee on a stick" tingle.  So, I did.



Two lines popped up immediately!  So, I took a different brand of test, and no line on that one.  I sent it to a tweaker...She pulled a veryveryvery faint line (where the arrow is)



Now I'm stuck in that "Am I or aren't I" limbo.  I feel yucky, a little nauseated, crampy and bloated.  But that could be anything!  Those cheap internet tests are known for giving false positives, so I don't want to do my happy dance or call people yet.

Thank goodness no one reads my blog!

I wasn't even supposed to test until Thursday!  ACK!  I hope it's truly positive, and not some mead joke like the last one.  Only time will tell!

Or maybe not...

It looks like yesterday's test was wrong.  False positive.  Positive bummer.

That's alright, though.  It just means that we have to keep trying.  Who knows?  I may still come up positive this month!

Here's a list of things I can still do:
Drink coffee
Drink wine
Sleep on my tummy
Smell food without wanting to puke
Ride rollercoasters
Eat soft cheese
Eat sushi

The list goes on and on!

Hi, I'm Megan, and I'm a POAS Addict

Trying to conceive is a tricky business - or so I've heard.  I've read instances of women trying for YEARS and not being able to make a baby without the help of outside forces.  Studies say that there's only a 15% chance of getting pregnant each month.  The odds are NOT in your favor.

When we decided that having a baby might not be the worst thing in the world, I stopped taking birth control and let nature takes it's course.  Well, nature must have been on the Autobahn, because two weeks later I was pregnant!  I was shocked, but excited.  Now, she's a smart, bubbly two-year-old, and she's asking for a sister.  And a brother.  You know, like Dora.

J and I talked about it, and came to the conclusion that Little Toots would be a great big sister.  This time, though, we were going to be smart.  I planned and plotted, I even made a schedule for when we should *ahem* you know.  This was two weeks ago.

Two weeks ago.

If you ever get bored, you should check out some message boards for women trying to conceive.  They are amazing!  There is this phenomenon called POAS addiction.  POAS stands for Pee On A Stick.  Yes, that's right.  Women go nuts about testing for pregnancy.  I have to admit, I'm one of them.  I don't know why.  I suppose it lets you feel like you're in control of your body.  Plus, the sooner you know you're prego, the sooner you can start gorging on pickles and ice cream!  Being an addict and enabling my addiction by stock piling pregnancy tests (purchased before we even discussed having another kid, I might add), I decided to POAS.

I'm not expert on fertility or menstrual cycles or anything, but I get the basics.  Typically, women have 28 day cycles.  Typically, you ovulate on cycle day 14.  Typically, you can get a positive pregnancy test on cycle day 24.  Typically.

I'm on cycle day 13.  Biologically speaking there is no way I could be pregnant right now.  And yet, what do I see?

Two little pink lines staring at me.
Is it a fluke?  A false positive?  Only time, copious amounts of urine, and a new pregnancy test will tell!

I took pictures of my pee stick (  gross, I know, but don't judge!) and I submitted them to these "test tweakers".  Basically, they photoshop your pregnancy test to see if they can determine if there really is a positive line.  These women are wonderful - and awful.  They give hope, crush dreams, and will even decorate a picture for you if it is in fact positive.

Here are the results:

 I'm buying more tests after work.  It's gonna be a pee party!

Check that off my bucket list!

It's still unbelievable.  I really did it!  I ran a half marathon!!  That's 13.1 miles!  To be fair, I didn't run the whole thing - I didn't even try to.  My training had been sporadic, so I knew that running the whole thing would be impossible.  My game plan was run for 3 minutes, walk for 2. And if that failed, just keep putting one foot in front of the other until I crossed that finish line.  Quitting was NOT an option!

I was so nervous at the beginning of the race.  I mean, there were all these super-fit, athletic people doing these impressive looking stretches, talking about "fueling" and wearing these water bottle belts.  I felt so out of my league!  Then, the announcer told all racers to start lining up.  Oh my God Ohmygod ohmygod, am I really doing this?!

The music was pumping, and people were cheering.  It was pretty exhilarating. The countdown began, and we were off!  Well, sort of.  There were so many people that it actually took a few minutes for the line to get going.  I took a nice, leisurely stroll to the starting point, then I starting jogging.  I had a timer app set for my intervals, and it was working nicely.  The first 3 miles were around the lake, and it was beautiful.  The sun wasn't too hot yet, and there was plenty of shade.  It seemed to fly by!  In between mile 3 and 4, I ran by the shop that J used to work in, and he was standing out there with Little Toots.  Seeing them was just the pick-me-up I needed.  I gave Tooties a kiss, and asked what time it was, but J didn't know.  I kept running.

At mile 5, I just had to see what time it was.  I was thinking it would be like 9:30 because I'm so slow...but it was only 8:48!  I ran 5 miles in 48 minutes!!  I was super thrilled.  Unfortunately, checking the time messed up my interval app, and it started randomly beeping.  I completely lost track of if I should be walking or running.  At mile 7, I gave in and started walking.  I met a young girl whose mother and sister had left her in the dust, so we walked together.  At mile 10, I was hurting.  My hips were screaming, and my lower back hurt.  It was weird - I thought for sure that my feet and calves would cramp, but instead it was my abs and lower back.  Now I know what I need to work on!

The last 1.1 mile of the race seemed like it was completely uphill, but I saw J and Tooties again!  I made it to the last leg, and I ran across the finish line!  It took me 3 hours, 20 minutes and 57 seconds, but I didn't even come in last! Over 100 people finished after me *brushes off shoulder*

Two days later, I'm still sore, but I feel like an Amazon!  I'm so proud of myself, and Tooties told me that she wants to run fast like mommy.  That makes the blisters and the fatigue worth it!

And crazy me, I think I'm signing up for another 13.1 in October!

National Running Day

Happy National Running Day!  Remember how I signed up for a half marathon?  Well, it's on Sunday!  I cannot believe how time flies when you're under-prepared for a long distance race!  My training has been minimal, but whether I'm ready or not, Sunday is the day!

I'm not running for glory, or to win.  I'm running to show my daughter that she can do anything she wants to do.  I could tell her that she's strong and beautiful and capable, but how will she ever believe it unless she can actually witness someone (like me) BEING strong and beautiful and capable.  I didn't have anyone like that in my life, and I spent much of my youth thinking that OTHER PEOPLE could run 13.1 miles, or write a book, or climb Mt. Everest, but not me.  I was plain.  I was boring.  I was average.  Until one day I decided that I don't want to be plain and average, I want to be remarkable.  So, even if it means coming in DEAD LAST, I will finish my 13.1 miles to show my daughter that she can do whatever she decides is worth doing.

Lessons from my Father

I am six years old, and I really, really have to pee.  I have just been playing with my sister and our dad, building a rad blanket fort out of a My Little Pony sleeping bag and the orange and blue Playskool slide, the kind that makes your hair stand on end with static electricity if you are in a 5 foot radius.  Holding my legs together, I run up the stairs to the bathroom.  The toilet is wedged in a little corner, right next to the bathtub.  I can easily see the shower curtain in the mirror over the sink. I wriggle out of my pants and sit down, when all of a sudden... "ROAR!"  My dad flings open the shower curtain, jumps out the bathroom, and quite literally scares the piss out of me.

It's not the first time, nor will it be the last.  At least he wasn't wearing the green Halloween mask.

This is the most important lesson I learned from my father: Expect the unexpected.  Monsters jump out the shadows, and you have to be prepared.  Some may argue that he made me a paranoid person, but I choose to use the word 'cautious'.  I check behind the shower curtain before dropping trou, peek into the backseat of my car before I unlock the door, and I prefer to sit facing a door at a restaurant.  Nothing can surprise you if you're looking for it.

Was this my dad’s intention?  To make me a cautious person?  To keep me out of danger?  No, probably not.  I think he really just liked to scare the pants off me and my little sister.  But, now that I look for that “ROAR” to come at me, out of nowhere, I can forgive the emotional scarring and night terrors because I know I’m a safer person.  I’ve never been mugged, attacked, or even in a bad car accident, and I really do think it’s because I’m constantly on the look-out for danger.

Don’t think I’m an overcautious recluse, though.  I take chances, and have adventures.  I’m no Evil Kenevil , but I don’t let fear stop me from doing something I really want to do.  I’ve been rock climbing, eaten sushi, and have sung in front of one thousand people.  I was nervous, but I did it.  Those are the kind of risks people should take in their life.  Walking down a dark alley wearing your best jewelry?  Not so much.

Thanks to my dad’s sadistic sense of humor, I learned a very important lesson: Expect the unexpected…and always check behind the shower curtain.

Home is where your heart is...

After living in crappy apartments, I decided that enough was enough.  The first house we looked at was still available, and after some negotiating, we decided to take it!

It's absolutely perfect for us - three bedrooms, a large kitchen, office, dining room, living room and a HUGE yard.  We're so happy!

I will post pictures when we're more unpacked.  We've been there for a month, and things are still not quite finished - hanging pictures and finding a home for all of our books.  Little Toots love it, and still calls it "new house".  I hope we can buy it in the future.

Sorry this is such a short post!  I felt like I needed to end the story of finding a place to live, but I don't have time to write it creatively.

On a side note, tomorrow starts Camp Nanowrimo!  It's another chance to write 50,000 words in one month.  Go to campnanowrimo.org to sign up!

Good luck!

Apartment #2 - The Saga Continues

After our terrible first experience in our brand new city, I was a little wary of our new apartment.  J found it in a day, literally, and I relinquished all power.  I vaguely knew where it was, but that was about it.  Three bedrooms, two toilets, animals permitted?  Fine by me.  I still had the worst stomach flu of my life, so I stayed at my in-laws while my dad, my dad-in-law, and J moved our belongings from Douche-Bag Dave's freezing house to our new place.  I showed up sometime Saturday afternoon, still queasy, but excited to be reunited with my stuff!

The place itself wasn't bad - it was big, it came with a washer and a drier, there were built-in bookshelves and hardwood floors.  It wasn't ideal, but hey, at least there was heat, amiright??  How naive we were!

That night, our downstairs neighbor came home rather late, and blared her TV.  It woke me up, and kind of scared me because I was dead asleep and all of a sudden I heard these very loud, very masculine voices!  It sounded like it was in my bedroom!  After I realized what it was, I was less scared but more annoyed.  I let it pass, and somehow I fell asleep again. 

The next night, the same neighbor came home drunk off her ass, with friends, and woke us up - AGAIN.  This time J went over to ask her to kindly shut the f up.  From what he told me, she looked at him like he was from another planet because she was so drunk she couldn't understand him.  Ugh.  So, we dragged our mattress in to the spare room (which was supposed to be Toots play room).  At that moment, we realized we couldn't live there.

I forgot to mention, this loud, drunk neighbor wasn't some college kid.  Oh no.  She was at least 60 years old, and out of work on "disability" for her "hurt back".  Riiiiight.  And every single night, she would come home and wake up me.  Weekends were the worst, especially when SU was playing because her son-in-law would scream at the TV (because that will TOTALLY help them win!)

Enough was enough.  We needed to find a home...

TO BE CONTINUED

I've moved (hence the hiatus!)

Remember when I posted about being broke?  Well, I'm still broke - but I have a new job, so hopefully I'm putting those broke-as-a-joke days behind me!  I'd like to apologize for my lack of writing - things have been a little crazy for me!  I guess I should start at the beginning...

J and I have been trying to find a good, steady job for what seems an eternity.  I finally got a job offer, and we jumped at it!  But, it meant moving 4 hours downstate, so I was a little nervous.  We had a really hard time finding a place to rent - Craigslist was just downright sad.  I just assumed that living in a city would mean that we would have a slew of places to choose from.  Apparently, not so.  We finally heard of a house for rent in the village where I would be working - about twenty minutes from civilization.  The place was gorgeous, but expensive, and at the last minute I got cold feet.  I mean, what if the baby got sick and we had to go to the hospital?  Plus, the nearest grocery store was 10 minutes away!  There was another house in the city that fit our criteria, and my in-laws went and checked it out for us.  I figured if my stepmother-in-law would live there, then I would live there.  We agreed to rent it sight unseen.

Big. Effing.  Mistake.

We were supposed to move in on a Friday, but I drove down with Miss Toots on Thursday, to meet the new babysitter, and to see our new house in person.  It's February, and it's cold, but Toots and I get out of the car to wait for the landlord.  It was a long drive and we're cramped and cranky.  We walk around a bit, peek in the windows, and wait.  And wait.  And wait.  Finally, I try to door.  Front door locked - back door open!  Huh, that's weird, but what the hell.  I walk in and give myself a tour.  It's freezing, but no one has been in it.  It'll be an okay place to live.  We leave.

I forgot to mention that my mom and dad were driving up to our old place to help J pack up and move.  Friday, everyone shows up at the new place to move in.  Everyone, that is, except for the landlord.  After calling him about 30,000 times, he finally calls back to tell us to just go ahead and unload.  However, the heat wasn't working.  The landlord, let's call him Douche-bag Dave, said that his heating guy was coming to take care of it.  At this point, we had been there for a few hours, Little Toots was freezing, and my nose was numb.  I had an enlightening conversation with the neighbors, who told me that Douche-bag Dave had just gotten out of jail, and that the house had been condemned!  AWESOME

My father-in-law went to check out the heat situation, and the boiler had been vandalized.  It wasn't just broken - it was destroyed!  We gave up waiting for the heat guy, and went back to my in-laws.

End of day one.

The next day, J and his dad went back to the house to wait for the heat guy and the landlord.  To make a long story a little less long, the heating guy said that there was no way he was going to be able to fix the heater so that we could move in.  Meanwhile, Douche-bag Dave keeps lying to us and demanding money from us.  Um....no.

Day three - Toots get the stomach flu.  We decide that we have to find another place to live.

Day four - My first day of work!  J finds us a new apartment, but we can't move in until the weekend.  He has to go back to work, and I'm stuck at my in-laws with the baby.

Mid-week: Father-in-law gets the stomach flu.

Friday: I get the stomach flu.

And this concludes week #1 of our moving tale.