Friday, September 16, 2011
Hi. My name is Megan, and I'm addicted to butter. Sweet, glorious butter! Whether generic or Lake o Lakes, with the Indian lady's knee/boobie peek-a-boo trick, butter is amazing. Without it, toast would just be crunchy bread, and butter-cream frosting would be non-existent! And poor Paula Dean would be unemployed!
My love affair with butter started at an early age. I was an anti-sauce kid, so I ate my pasta with butter. Rice with butter. Veggies with butter. My mom tried to switch to margarine for awhile, but I staged a coup and butter was quickly reinstated at the family condiment of choice. At restaurants, we would always have to ask for extra packets of butter for our rolls. I mean, do they really expect that one tiny square to sufficiently cover a roll? Really?? It's not like my excessive butter use was harming me; I was an active child, and skinny to the point of awkwardness. Butter wasn't slowing me down, not one bit!
However, when I arrived at college, I stopped my normal routine. I usually had a dance class or play rehearsal every day after school - at college, I had way too much free time, which I normally spent bumming around with my friends. A sedentary life style, along with my love of butter led my down the path of the dreaded Freshman 15. And Sophomore 20. It was not a pretty picture. Did this stop my buttery obsession?
I still smear it on bagles, bread, pasta, pastries, everything. Today, I decided to bring leftover spaghetti and meatballs to work for lunch. Hubby watched as I added a few pats of butter to the spag before scooping up some sauce. He shook his head in utter dismay and said "Megan, we need to have a butter intervention."
"What, why?" I asked, wondering if I should lick the buttery knife clean.
"Butter is ruining your life! I don't want to come home one day and find you covered in butter! Think of the baby!!" I could see his mind swimming with images of me, sitting on the kitchen floor, shoveling sticks of butter into my mouth a la Homer Simpson.
I know I should cut back, or even quit. Not just for my health, but to set a good example for Little Toots. Butter is a sometimes food.