At 36 weeks, I had my home visit. For non-birth obsessed people, this is the part when the midwife comes to your home to get acquainted with it. I also got to meet the back-up/birth assistant, Meredith. She runs a midwifery practice as well. In fact, she was the first midwife I contacted when I decided to switch to home birth, but her practice is a little too far away. Ah, the joys of living in the middle of nowhere!
Some midwives conducted all their check-ups at the patient's home, but in Deb's case, it wouldn't be possible. I have about an hour and 15 minute drive to her office, but honestly, it's not that bad.
Meredith arrived first, and we sat on the front porch and chatted while we waited fro Deb. It's interesting meeting people in person after you've "met" them virtually via Facebook. I forget what we talked about, but it was relaxing and pleasant. Deb finally found the house (I told her it was gray...it's definitely brown. I'm an idiot!) I gave them the grand tour, starting with the kitchen and working our way to the front of the house. They both determined that the bathtub with jets will be ideal for laboring in, but it's not really wide enough for birthing. We decided against renting a birth pool because of the cost, so we're going to have a "land" birth. I showed the ladies all three of Little Toots playrooms (otherwise known as J's office, the dining room, and the spare bedroom/Baby G's room). They also asked to see the washer and dryer, because they'll do a load of towels and sheets before they leave after I give birth! Whoa, full service!
We all went back to the living room, and I finished filling out some paper work regarding pediatricians and back-up doctors. Then, they asked me a wonderful question: "What is you birth vision?"
My birth vision? No one had ever asked me that before! I was surprised and didn't know how to answer! My birth vision...hmmmm. Well, I pictured myself laboring in the tub. I've made two different playlists - one energizing, one calming - and I planned on walking around as I needed. For the actual birth, I just see myself in the living room. After all, it's where I spend most of my time. However, I'm not opposed to being in my bedroom if I feel like I need to be in a more intimate setting. Little Toots will have free reign, she can be there or not, whatever she's comfortable with (mom-in-law is coming to watch her, so I won't have to worry about it). Deb has a birth stool and a birth ball, and I love the idea of a birth stool, so I'll probably push on that - or not. I know I'll want it quiet, cell phones off, no one texting people while I'm trying to concentrate. Sister-in-law will hopefully be there to perform some Reiki, in case I need pain management.
As I was talking, the midwives kept nodding, occasionally offering suggestion (like certain foods or drinks that might be nice). I felt so relaxed! I realized that I'm not nervous about labor AT ALL! Yes, I'm anxious to meet my daughter and to see her face, but contractions? Pushing? Not even a blip on my radar. I am completely ready for it. In fact, and this will sound crazy to many people, but I'm looking forward to it!
They both gave me a big hug when they left, and I made my next appointment with Deb.
Now all we have to do it wait!
Monday, May 20, 2013
Friday, May 17, 2013
Home Birth Myths
I've been so immersed in birth culture, that I have kind of forgotten that most of my "normal" seems pretty bizarre to mainstream Americans. Words and phrased that are part of my vocabulary are more foreign than Japanese to many of my friends, family, and co-workers. You mean to tell me people don't openly discuss placentas all day long?? What???
I just assume everyone knows what a home birth is, and how awesome I am for having one (teehee), but I thought I could take a minute to explain some of the process, and debunk some of the myths that surround the idea of home birth.
#1 Myth - Home Birth is dangerous.
There have been studies that show that home birth is just as safe -if not safer! - than giving birth in a hospital. Safety is rated by mother and infant mortality rate, and as a country the US is rated very poorly. Here is a lovely write up by the BBC that explains the study a little better than I can.
#2 Myth - Midwives aren't professionals.
There are three different types of midwives - CNM, CPM, and lay midwives. Certified Nurse Midwives (CNM) are training nurses - many times they actually work with an OBGYN and deliver in a hospital. Certified Professional Midwives (CPM) are - you guessed it!- also certified professionals. Lay midwives are NOT certified and NOT professionals. I wouldn't recommend using one - but I believe this is what many people think of when they hear "midwife". I've only ever seen CNMs. Once, I looked up the education CNMs and CPMs need...and whoa, boy, it's a lot. Like a lot, a lot. Yowzah.
#3 Myth - If there's an emergency, you're in trouble!
Nope, again, not true! Midwives carry tools and drugs in case there is an emergency, and there is always a plan B in place. We extensively talk about what will happen in case of an emergency, what hospital I would prefer to transfer to, and if I have a back-up OBGYN (currently, I do not have a back-up, I'll have to take whoever if I need to transfer.) My midwife will have Pitocin in case I bleed too much, oxygen for the baby if she needs it, sutures, and herbs.
#4 Myth - It's too expensive.
Yes, out of pocket payment can be a bit rough, but many times insurance will cover home birth. For us, we have the worst insurance in the world, and we realized that with a natural childbirth in hospital, we would STILL end up paying at least $6000 AFTER insurance. My midwife doesn't take insurance, but she only charges $3500 for all pre-natal care and delivery. To me, that's a bargain! My insurance will reimburse us for a portion.
There are a thousand blogs and websites out there that are much more eloquent than I, so I suggest you check some out, especially Birth Without Fear .
I just assume everyone knows what a home birth is, and how awesome I am for having one (teehee), but I thought I could take a minute to explain some of the process, and debunk some of the myths that surround the idea of home birth.
#1 Myth - Home Birth is dangerous.
There have been studies that show that home birth is just as safe -if not safer! - than giving birth in a hospital. Safety is rated by mother and infant mortality rate, and as a country the US is rated very poorly. Here is a lovely write up by the BBC that explains the study a little better than I can.
#2 Myth - Midwives aren't professionals.
There are three different types of midwives - CNM, CPM, and lay midwives. Certified Nurse Midwives (CNM) are training nurses - many times they actually work with an OBGYN and deliver in a hospital. Certified Professional Midwives (CPM) are - you guessed it!- also certified professionals. Lay midwives are NOT certified and NOT professionals. I wouldn't recommend using one - but I believe this is what many people think of when they hear "midwife". I've only ever seen CNMs. Once, I looked up the education CNMs and CPMs need...and whoa, boy, it's a lot. Like a lot, a lot. Yowzah.
#3 Myth - If there's an emergency, you're in trouble!
Nope, again, not true! Midwives carry tools and drugs in case there is an emergency, and there is always a plan B in place. We extensively talk about what will happen in case of an emergency, what hospital I would prefer to transfer to, and if I have a back-up OBGYN (currently, I do not have a back-up, I'll have to take whoever if I need to transfer.) My midwife will have Pitocin in case I bleed too much, oxygen for the baby if she needs it, sutures, and herbs.
#4 Myth - It's too expensive.
Yes, out of pocket payment can be a bit rough, but many times insurance will cover home birth. For us, we have the worst insurance in the world, and we realized that with a natural childbirth in hospital, we would STILL end up paying at least $6000 AFTER insurance. My midwife doesn't take insurance, but she only charges $3500 for all pre-natal care and delivery. To me, that's a bargain! My insurance will reimburse us for a portion.
There are a thousand blogs and websites out there that are much more eloquent than I, so I suggest you check some out, especially Birth Without Fear .
Monday, April 22, 2013
35 Weeks
Well...almost 35 weeks!
My mother-in-law hosted a little baby shower for me yesterday. It was nice, and an Amish girl from down the road made the cake, and it was INCREDIBLE! And you KNOW it was all natural!
We got a few outfits, some bottles and some diapers, but now it's really starting to set in: We're having a baby soon! I still need a TON of stuff (more for me than for the baby), but hopefully I can start getting things set up this weekend. One important thing I have to do is find a better pediatrician...our current one SUCKS!
Another awesome thing happened this weekend: My father-in-law and his wife bought us a new TV! IT's a flat screen LCD HDTV...I mean, I never expected that! They're also letting us borrow a large chunk of cash to pay the midwife with, so I never in a billion years would have expected a gift as well! They are so generous!
I just need to put in to writing that I married in to the greatest family. You always hear the "in-laws" horror stories, and you see shows like Everybody Loves Raymond where the husband's family is BSC (bat-shit crazy). J's family is so open, warm, and loving, generous to a fault, and from day 1 they have made me feel welcome. I never get shut down or made fun of (well, teased with love is ok) and they don't ever point out my short comings. I've listened to like an adult, even if my views differ from theirs. They never hold things over my head, and never play the martyr. I'm so glad my daughters will have them to lean on.
Being brought in to a family that truly cares about each other has really changed the way I see myself. And I will forever be grateful.
My mother-in-law hosted a little baby shower for me yesterday. It was nice, and an Amish girl from down the road made the cake, and it was INCREDIBLE! And you KNOW it was all natural!
We got a few outfits, some bottles and some diapers, but now it's really starting to set in: We're having a baby soon! I still need a TON of stuff (more for me than for the baby), but hopefully I can start getting things set up this weekend. One important thing I have to do is find a better pediatrician...our current one SUCKS!
Another awesome thing happened this weekend: My father-in-law and his wife bought us a new TV! IT's a flat screen LCD HDTV...I mean, I never expected that! They're also letting us borrow a large chunk of cash to pay the midwife with, so I never in a billion years would have expected a gift as well! They are so generous!
I just need to put in to writing that I married in to the greatest family. You always hear the "in-laws" horror stories, and you see shows like Everybody Loves Raymond where the husband's family is BSC (bat-shit crazy). J's family is so open, warm, and loving, generous to a fault, and from day 1 they have made me feel welcome. I never get shut down or made fun of (well, teased with love is ok) and they don't ever point out my short comings. I've listened to like an adult, even if my views differ from theirs. They never hold things over my head, and never play the martyr. I'm so glad my daughters will have them to lean on.
Being brought in to a family that truly cares about each other has really changed the way I see myself. And I will forever be grateful.
Monday, April 8, 2013
33 weeks
Tomorrow marks 33 weeks of this pregnancy. I'm tired, sore, and apparently have a cold.
On the bright side, we made a little baby registry at Target. On the down side, I realize how much stuff we need and how little money we have.
I was going to write more, but I'm just too tired to bother!
On the bright side, we made a little baby registry at Target. On the down side, I realize how much stuff we need and how little money we have.
I was going to write more, but I'm just too tired to bother!
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Good news!
Yesterday was my appointment with the perinatologist. First, we had an ultrasound. The tech measured everything, and I was watching the screen. Everything was completely average! The baby is still a girl, weighs almost 3 pounds, and is about 52 percentile in terms of size.
Then, we had our consultation with the doctor. I swear, the doctor looked like she was 12! Some Doogie Howser stuff was going on, because there is no way she was old enough to go through college and medical school! Either way, she was very nice and helpful.
I definitely DO NOT have circumvallate placenta, which is great news. She was concerned about my low-laying placenta though. Apparently, to have a "safe" vaginal delivery, your placenta should be 2cm away from your cervix. Mine is 1.91cm away (although one measurement during the ultrasound did come out to over 2cm). I'm only 29 weeks pregnant, and my uterus has a lot of growing to do. Basically, my analogy is this: When you put a piece of tape on a deflated balloon, then slowly start inflating the balloon, it looks like the tape is moving up - that's what happens to the placenta. It doesn't actually move, but the uterus stretches, creating more room between placenta and cervix. Anyway, the doctor said that at 1.91cm, she would recommend a c-section. HELL NO! I'm not being gutted like a fish over a measly .09cm! Do you know how small that is? Especially since I still have 11 weeks of growing to do. Nope, nope nope! The doc suggested a follow up ultrasound in 5 weeks just to keep on eye on it...we scheduled the appointment, but I highly doubt I'll be keeping it, unless my midwife is adamant.
Next "issue" was my amniotic fluid level. It's in the low normal range. And my first thought was...."In other words, it's normal?" She wanted yet another ultrasound to check my fluid level in a week, and told me to up my water intake. Ok, I"ll drink more water, but why do I have to recheck a normal level? Oh, because you're a surgeon and really, really want to see what my insides look like. Gotcha.
Then she tells me that if I start bleeding or if my water breaks, to go to the hospital. It took all my will power not to say "Duh!"
But really, she was very sweet, but she's a highly trained surgeon that specializes in high risk pregnancies...of course she wants me in a hospital! I'm 100% confident in my body to birth this child naturally, with no interventions. Now that I know there is nothing wrong, everything should be smooth sailing. We just have to figure out a way to pay the midwife!
Then, we had our consultation with the doctor. I swear, the doctor looked like she was 12! Some Doogie Howser stuff was going on, because there is no way she was old enough to go through college and medical school! Either way, she was very nice and helpful.
I definitely DO NOT have circumvallate placenta, which is great news. She was concerned about my low-laying placenta though. Apparently, to have a "safe" vaginal delivery, your placenta should be 2cm away from your cervix. Mine is 1.91cm away (although one measurement during the ultrasound did come out to over 2cm). I'm only 29 weeks pregnant, and my uterus has a lot of growing to do. Basically, my analogy is this: When you put a piece of tape on a deflated balloon, then slowly start inflating the balloon, it looks like the tape is moving up - that's what happens to the placenta. It doesn't actually move, but the uterus stretches, creating more room between placenta and cervix. Anyway, the doctor said that at 1.91cm, she would recommend a c-section. HELL NO! I'm not being gutted like a fish over a measly .09cm! Do you know how small that is? Especially since I still have 11 weeks of growing to do. Nope, nope nope! The doc suggested a follow up ultrasound in 5 weeks just to keep on eye on it...we scheduled the appointment, but I highly doubt I'll be keeping it, unless my midwife is adamant.
Next "issue" was my amniotic fluid level. It's in the low normal range. And my first thought was...."In other words, it's normal?" She wanted yet another ultrasound to check my fluid level in a week, and told me to up my water intake. Ok, I"ll drink more water, but why do I have to recheck a normal level? Oh, because you're a surgeon and really, really want to see what my insides look like. Gotcha.
Then she tells me that if I start bleeding or if my water breaks, to go to the hospital. It took all my will power not to say "Duh!"
But really, she was very sweet, but she's a highly trained surgeon that specializes in high risk pregnancies...of course she wants me in a hospital! I'm 100% confident in my body to birth this child naturally, with no interventions. Now that I know there is nothing wrong, everything should be smooth sailing. We just have to figure out a way to pay the midwife!
Friday, March 8, 2013
Tired and cranky and hungry, oh my!
I have an appointment with a perinatal doctor on Tuesday, so I will know early next week if I'm high risk, or fine, or what have you.
Lately, I've been one emotional mess! I started crying in the bathroom at work yesterday for no discernible reason. Every time the baby kicks, it hurts so much! I just want her to stop, but at the same time I feel relieved that she's okay. I can't sleep but I'm so so tired.
I'm still only 6 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight, which makes me happy but also worries me. I'm definitely eating, so I know I'm getting nutrients. All I really want is a giant glass of wine and a steak!
I hate to be complaining, but I'm just miserable! Only 12 weeks left...let's hope I can keep my sanity!
Lately, I've been one emotional mess! I started crying in the bathroom at work yesterday for no discernible reason. Every time the baby kicks, it hurts so much! I just want her to stop, but at the same time I feel relieved that she's okay. I can't sleep but I'm so so tired.
I'm still only 6 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight, which makes me happy but also worries me. I'm definitely eating, so I know I'm getting nutrients. All I really want is a giant glass of wine and a steak!
I hate to be complaining, but I'm just miserable! Only 12 weeks left...let's hope I can keep my sanity!
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Well, I'm glad I fired them!
I had my first check-up with Deb, my home birth midwife. Everything went well! I was measuring spot on, the baby's heart rate was good, and I spent an hour talking to a health professional for the first time in my life. It was brilliant! I also learned a lot about supplements and herbs...and I had always thought that I was so educated!
At the time of my appointment, the OBGYN office still hadn't sent over my file. I got a call when they finally did. It went a little something like this:
Deb: So, did the doctors explain your condition?
Me: Well, they mention I had a low lying placenta but that they weren't worried about it.
Deb: Oh yeah, that's moved and that's fine, but you have something called circumvallate placenta. I can't believe they didn't tell you!
Me: Nope, never mentioned it.
Deb: Okay, I'm going to need to refer you to a perinatologist, because this is a major concern - I can't believe they didn't tell you?!?!!
(This is why I'm not a script writer)
Anyway, apparently the doctors saw something weird on both of my ultrasounds, but failed to mention it to me. Circumvallate placenta (CVP) can cause some huge problems in pregnancy, from pre-term labor to miscarriage to placental abruption. I'm out of the woods for a miscarriage, and I haven't had any bleeding or severe pain, so Deb's gut instinct is that the doctors didn't know what they were looking at. The referral is just to get a clear diagnosis. However, if I do have this disease then I think my chances of home birth are gone.
I'm glad my midwife is referring me to a specialist, and quite frankly I'm pissed that my first doctors never did. What if I had a miscarriage, or had hemorrhaged and died? I'm hoping that there's nothing actually wrong with me, because my greatest fear is a hospital birth. And, if I end up being high risk, it will probably be a c-section. Next to losing the baby, a c-section would be a nightmare. I'm angry and frustrated and worried. Every little twinge has me wondering if I'm losing the baby, and every BH contraction makes me think I"m in pre-term labor. I need to get out of my own head!
The perinatologists should be calling soon to set up an appointment...I was hoping that they would call yesterday, but no such luck. Fingers crossed that they call today!
At the time of my appointment, the OBGYN office still hadn't sent over my file. I got a call when they finally did. It went a little something like this:
Deb: So, did the doctors explain your condition?
Me: Well, they mention I had a low lying placenta but that they weren't worried about it.
Deb: Oh yeah, that's moved and that's fine, but you have something called circumvallate placenta. I can't believe they didn't tell you!
Me: Nope, never mentioned it.
Deb: Okay, I'm going to need to refer you to a perinatologist, because this is a major concern - I can't believe they didn't tell you?!?!!
(This is why I'm not a script writer)
Anyway, apparently the doctors saw something weird on both of my ultrasounds, but failed to mention it to me. Circumvallate placenta (CVP) can cause some huge problems in pregnancy, from pre-term labor to miscarriage to placental abruption. I'm out of the woods for a miscarriage, and I haven't had any bleeding or severe pain, so Deb's gut instinct is that the doctors didn't know what they were looking at. The referral is just to get a clear diagnosis. However, if I do have this disease then I think my chances of home birth are gone.
I'm glad my midwife is referring me to a specialist, and quite frankly I'm pissed that my first doctors never did. What if I had a miscarriage, or had hemorrhaged and died? I'm hoping that there's nothing actually wrong with me, because my greatest fear is a hospital birth. And, if I end up being high risk, it will probably be a c-section. Next to losing the baby, a c-section would be a nightmare. I'm angry and frustrated and worried. Every little twinge has me wondering if I'm losing the baby, and every BH contraction makes me think I"m in pre-term labor. I need to get out of my own head!
The perinatologists should be calling soon to set up an appointment...I was hoping that they would call yesterday, but no such luck. Fingers crossed that they call today!
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Switching providers at 24 weeks
At my last check-up at the OB-GYN practice I had been using, the midwife I was primarily working with told me that she wouldn't be there for my delivery.
"Vacation?" I asked. She shook her head. No, not vacation - she was leaving the practice.
"Why? Where are you going?" She explained that she was leaving to work at a more midwife friendly hospital. More midwife friendly? I immediately started asking question.
The practice I had been using consisted of four midwives and two OB-GYNs. I knew that there was a chance that "my' midwife might not attend my delivery. However, once she was leaving, she felt that she could be more candid about the practices of the hospital I would be delivering in. It sounded very much like the last hospital I delivered in - quick to administer Pitocin to speed up labor, more than happy to give you an epidural, making you lay in bed while they monitor the (unnaturally strong because of Pit) contractions, use of forceps, and other red-flags. I left that appointment feeling defeated. I am strong, and well-educated about patients rights. I could very well fight to have the birth that I want, but why should I? Why should I have to check and double check that my rights aren't being violated? Shouldn't I have some say? Having a child is not an illness - it's a perfectly natural thing that doesn't need to be medicated or messed with!
I told J that enough was enough - I wanted a home birth! I wanted one to begin with, but always figured it would be too expensive, or the midwives wouldn't travel out as far as we are. Well, there was only one way to find out! I started emailing people, and finally got the name of a local midwife, Deb. We emailed back and forth a bit, and after having to reschedule because of an ice storm, we met for a consultation.
Her office is a bit of a drive for us (about an hour) but it's cute and cozy! I fell in love with her almost instantly! We were scheduled for a half hour, but ended up staying a full hour! She had great answers for all of our questions, and we discovered that it's cheaper to have a home birth, even though she doesn't take insurance. As soon as we got in the car, I looked at J and said "So, we're doing this, right??" He agreed.
Now, I just have to have my files transferred to her office, and go on my merry way. I'm super excited that I'll be able to have a peaceful birth, in my own home, without the stress of doctors, nurses, IVs, machines, fluorescent lights and hospital smells.
I can't wait to meet our newest little girl!!!
"Vacation?" I asked. She shook her head. No, not vacation - she was leaving the practice.
"Why? Where are you going?" She explained that she was leaving to work at a more midwife friendly hospital. More midwife friendly? I immediately started asking question.
The practice I had been using consisted of four midwives and two OB-GYNs. I knew that there was a chance that "my' midwife might not attend my delivery. However, once she was leaving, she felt that she could be more candid about the practices of the hospital I would be delivering in. It sounded very much like the last hospital I delivered in - quick to administer Pitocin to speed up labor, more than happy to give you an epidural, making you lay in bed while they monitor the (unnaturally strong because of Pit) contractions, use of forceps, and other red-flags. I left that appointment feeling defeated. I am strong, and well-educated about patients rights. I could very well fight to have the birth that I want, but why should I? Why should I have to check and double check that my rights aren't being violated? Shouldn't I have some say? Having a child is not an illness - it's a perfectly natural thing that doesn't need to be medicated or messed with!
I told J that enough was enough - I wanted a home birth! I wanted one to begin with, but always figured it would be too expensive, or the midwives wouldn't travel out as far as we are. Well, there was only one way to find out! I started emailing people, and finally got the name of a local midwife, Deb. We emailed back and forth a bit, and after having to reschedule because of an ice storm, we met for a consultation.
Her office is a bit of a drive for us (about an hour) but it's cute and cozy! I fell in love with her almost instantly! We were scheduled for a half hour, but ended up staying a full hour! She had great answers for all of our questions, and we discovered that it's cheaper to have a home birth, even though she doesn't take insurance. As soon as we got in the car, I looked at J and said "So, we're doing this, right??" He agreed.
Now, I just have to have my files transferred to her office, and go on my merry way. I'm super excited that I'll be able to have a peaceful birth, in my own home, without the stress of doctors, nurses, IVs, machines, fluorescent lights and hospital smells.
I can't wait to meet our newest little girl!!!
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Changing diapers changed my mind
Now that I'm pregnant with baby girl #2, I've been thinking about all the ways I've changed my views on certain things. Parenthood can flip your opinion faster than a toddler destroys a living room! My advice to new moms (and dads): Try to not say that you'll never do something, or always do something, because you will eat your words! That said, here are some things I've changed my mind on since having a child.
#1. Smoking
I smoked in high school and in college. Of course I knew how bad it was for me, but what did I care? I was 18 going to live forever! Plus, I was just so super cool, smokin' my cig, saying things like "Oh my God, I totally need a cigarette right now!!" Most of my friends smoked, and it was a social thing, especially at the bar. Cigarettes were practically currency (not in the prison sense, but still...). When one of my best friends got pregnant our senior year, I was a little put out that I could no longer smoke around her. Like, really? What's the big deal? I mean, I'll open the window!
Fast forward to June, 2009. Holding that positive test in my hand, I knew my smoking days were long gone (they had been gone for over a year at that point, but I still had the option). Now, I'm like a smoke detector! I work on a smoke-free campus, and I can pin point with amazing accuracy which students smoke, which staff members smoke, and how long go their last puff was. I walk by smokers standing outside of buildings and dramatically hold my breath as I pass through their fog of nicotine. If I know someone smokes in their home, Little Toots will never go there. My mother-in-law smokes, but she does so respectfully. She goes far away to have a cigarette, washes her and hand and brushes her teeth after, and if possible she changes her clothes.
It drives me bonkers to see mothers with a cigarette in one hand and a baby in the other. I want to scream at them "You are KILLING YOUR CHILD!" Since having Little Toots, smoking now equals coughing, ear infections, SIDS, asthma, and a half dozen other preventable illnesses. This is by far my biggest change of heart.
#2. Nursing Toddlers
Before, and even after, having Little Toots, I felt that nursing was for babies and toddlers should be weaned. I nursed Little Toots for 8 months. She stopped being interested in it, and I called it baby-led weaning. I now realize that she was probably on a nursing strike, and I should have kept at it. I used to think that toddlers nursing was a little creepy. I mean, here is this great big kid, with teeth, the ability to walk and talk, yet they are drinking milk from their mother's breast! Ugh! Since then, I've done a TON of research and I realize the value of full-term nursing. Every worldwide health organization recognizes the benefits of breastfeeding until two years of age. I fully intend to nurse the newest little one as long as possible! Here is the link to The World Health Organization
#3. Male Infant Circumcision
Oh, the things I've learned about circumcision! Originally, I was in the "let the dad decide" camp, now I'm firmly against cutting perfect baby boys! I don't even think it's a "personal decision" for parents to make. It's genital mutilation plain and simple. There's no medical benefit, and we're not religious so that wouldn't make a difference to us. Basically, it's a cosmetic surgery and I would never alter my daughter, so why my son? I'm a little relieved that I'm having another girl, so we wouldn't have to worry about it, but I truly hope this barbaric practice ends, and soon! Check out The Whole Network to find out more...
These are just a few things that have changed since becoming a mother...and I'm sure that my opinions on other things as I learn how to manage two children!
#1. Smoking
I smoked in high school and in college. Of course I knew how bad it was for me, but what did I care? I was 18 going to live forever! Plus, I was just so super cool, smokin' my cig, saying things like "Oh my God, I totally need a cigarette right now!!" Most of my friends smoked, and it was a social thing, especially at the bar. Cigarettes were practically currency (not in the prison sense, but still...). When one of my best friends got pregnant our senior year, I was a little put out that I could no longer smoke around her. Like, really? What's the big deal? I mean, I'll open the window!
Fast forward to June, 2009. Holding that positive test in my hand, I knew my smoking days were long gone (they had been gone for over a year at that point, but I still had the option). Now, I'm like a smoke detector! I work on a smoke-free campus, and I can pin point with amazing accuracy which students smoke, which staff members smoke, and how long go their last puff was. I walk by smokers standing outside of buildings and dramatically hold my breath as I pass through their fog of nicotine. If I know someone smokes in their home, Little Toots will never go there. My mother-in-law smokes, but she does so respectfully. She goes far away to have a cigarette, washes her and hand and brushes her teeth after, and if possible she changes her clothes.
It drives me bonkers to see mothers with a cigarette in one hand and a baby in the other. I want to scream at them "You are KILLING YOUR CHILD!" Since having Little Toots, smoking now equals coughing, ear infections, SIDS, asthma, and a half dozen other preventable illnesses. This is by far my biggest change of heart.
#2. Nursing Toddlers
Before, and even after, having Little Toots, I felt that nursing was for babies and toddlers should be weaned. I nursed Little Toots for 8 months. She stopped being interested in it, and I called it baby-led weaning. I now realize that she was probably on a nursing strike, and I should have kept at it. I used to think that toddlers nursing was a little creepy. I mean, here is this great big kid, with teeth, the ability to walk and talk, yet they are drinking milk from their mother's breast! Ugh! Since then, I've done a TON of research and I realize the value of full-term nursing. Every worldwide health organization recognizes the benefits of breastfeeding until two years of age. I fully intend to nurse the newest little one as long as possible! Here is the link to The World Health Organization
#3. Male Infant Circumcision
Oh, the things I've learned about circumcision! Originally, I was in the "let the dad decide" camp, now I'm firmly against cutting perfect baby boys! I don't even think it's a "personal decision" for parents to make. It's genital mutilation plain and simple. There's no medical benefit, and we're not religious so that wouldn't make a difference to us. Basically, it's a cosmetic surgery and I would never alter my daughter, so why my son? I'm a little relieved that I'm having another girl, so we wouldn't have to worry about it, but I truly hope this barbaric practice ends, and soon! Check out The Whole Network to find out more...
These are just a few things that have changed since becoming a mother...and I'm sure that my opinions on other things as I learn how to manage two children!
Friday, November 30, 2012
Week 14
It's officially the second trimester, and I should be feeling great, right?
Hmm, well, not so much.
I went for a check-up on Tuesday, and I've lost four more pounds, which makes it a grand total of twelve pounds down since finding out I was pregnant. I'm still sick most days, and everything tastes awful. This has been the most miserable pregnancy! I just can't wait to have the baby...
Hmm, well, not so much.
I went for a check-up on Tuesday, and I've lost four more pounds, which makes it a grand total of twelve pounds down since finding out I was pregnant. I'm still sick most days, and everything tastes awful. This has been the most miserable pregnancy! I just can't wait to have the baby...
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Week 8
I weighed myself this morning, and I'm down 5 pounds. I'm super worried! I've been throwing up all hours of the day and night, and the gagging, nauseous feeling never goes away. I've missed 3 and half days of work. I called the doctor's office yesterday, and the on-call midwife gave me some over the counter remedies (which aren't working) and told me to go to the ER if I get bad enough. She can't prescribe anything until I'm an established patient, and my first appointment is next week. She didn't even offer to get me in sooner! I don't want to go to the ER because I have really crappy insurance, and it will cost a fortune!
I'm really depressed, and I'm homesick for Saranac Lake. The doctor up there would have seen me IMMEDIATELY for something like this. Thank goodness my mother-in-law is retired now. She came over yesterday to take care of me, and she's coming back today. I can't even be a good mom because I'm so sick.
I really think this baby might be twins, just based on how sick I am. I hope not, because it would be overwhelming.
I really just wish I could feel better...
I'm really depressed, and I'm homesick for Saranac Lake. The doctor up there would have seen me IMMEDIATELY for something like this. Thank goodness my mother-in-law is retired now. She came over yesterday to take care of me, and she's coming back today. I can't even be a good mom because I'm so sick.
I really think this baby might be twins, just based on how sick I am. I hope not, because it would be overwhelming.
I really just wish I could feel better...
Monday, October 8, 2012
Week 6
Is there a stealthy way to vomit at work? If there is, I haven't figured it out! Seriously, after 5 trips to the bathroom in a two hour period, people are going to start wondering what's wrong with me!
My pants are being held together by a rubber band - well, more specifically, one of Toots hair ties.
I feel liked crap! I know it's worth it, but UGH! I just want to crawl in to bed and not come out until the next trimester!
My pants are being held together by a rubber band - well, more specifically, one of Toots hair ties.
I feel liked crap! I know it's worth it, but UGH! I just want to crawl in to bed and not come out until the next trimester!
Friday, September 28, 2012
5 weeks!
5 weeks pregnant, and what's changed? Well, for starters....I can't fit into my pants!! What the heck?! Now, I know that you're supposed to "show" sooner with your second (or third, or fourth) but this is ridiculous!! I'm getting a little round belly, and it's getting harder to hide.
The morning sickness hasn't been too bad. I'm mostly just nauseous, but I haven't puked - yet. With Little Toots, I was sick every day for 15 weeks, so I think it's just a matter of time before I start bowing to the porcelain goddess.
My boobs are huge.
Just to give you an idea...
I have to pee a lot, but that's not really any different than any other time! LOL
The only other thing that's really changed is the fact that I want to murder my husband on an hourly basis. Everything he says or does pisses me off. I'm going to assume I'm hormonal, but I frequently picture me kneeing him directly in the testicles. When I get home, I'm tired, and I don't want to do all the cleaning that he expects to be done before he gets home. I literally have two hours between walking in the door and J pulling in the driveway. In that amount of time, I feed the kid, the dog, the fish, do the dishes, get Toots to use the potty and/or clean up the mess she's made in her pants, give her a bath, and usually something extra like start the laundry. No, I'm not vacuuming. No, I'm not cleaning the toilets. I just WANT TO SIT DOWN!! I feel like he was much more supportive during my first pregnancy, but then again we didn't have a toddler running around then...
Meanwhile, my first appointment isn't for another MONTH! It seems so far away, I don't know if I can wait!
Well, that's it for now - stayed tuned!
The morning sickness hasn't been too bad. I'm mostly just nauseous, but I haven't puked - yet. With Little Toots, I was sick every day for 15 weeks, so I think it's just a matter of time before I start bowing to the porcelain goddess.
My boobs are huge.
I have to pee a lot, but that's not really any different than any other time! LOL
The only other thing that's really changed is the fact that I want to murder my husband on an hourly basis. Everything he says or does pisses me off. I'm going to assume I'm hormonal, but I frequently picture me kneeing him directly in the testicles. When I get home, I'm tired, and I don't want to do all the cleaning that he expects to be done before he gets home. I literally have two hours between walking in the door and J pulling in the driveway. In that amount of time, I feed the kid, the dog, the fish, do the dishes, get Toots to use the potty and/or clean up the mess she's made in her pants, give her a bath, and usually something extra like start the laundry. No, I'm not vacuuming. No, I'm not cleaning the toilets. I just WANT TO SIT DOWN!! I feel like he was much more supportive during my first pregnancy, but then again we didn't have a toddler running around then...
Meanwhile, my first appointment isn't for another MONTH! It seems so far away, I don't know if I can wait!
Well, that's it for now - stayed tuned!
Saturday, September 15, 2012
It's official!
After two cycles of trying, J and I found out this morning that I'm pregnant! YAY
As if on cue, the strange bodily signs started - acne, cramps, and feeling super tired. So far, during my five seconds of pregnancy, it already feels totally different than the first time! Maybe this means it's a boy? Only time will tell!
I'll be updating as frequently as I can, as work has kind of taken over my life. Things should calm down after October, and I'll be officially announcing around Thanksgiving!
As if on cue, the strange bodily signs started - acne, cramps, and feeling super tired. So far, during my five seconds of pregnancy, it already feels totally different than the first time! Maybe this means it's a boy? Only time will tell!
I'll be updating as frequently as I can, as work has kind of taken over my life. Things should calm down after October, and I'll be officially announcing around Thanksgiving!
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
BFP?
Little Toots and J came to visit me at work yesterday. It was so nice! We took her over to the science building to see the fish and the stuffed owls. On our way out, we stopped by to say hi to my favorite librarian, who promptly asked me if I was "working on something in there" pointing to my stomach. Note to self: burn the dress I was wearing!
But, the comment gave me that familiar "I want to pee on a stick" tingle. So, I did.
Two lines popped up immediately! So, I took a different brand of test, and no line on that one. I sent it to a tweaker...She pulled a veryveryvery faint line (where the arrow is)
Now I'm stuck in that "Am I or aren't I" limbo. I feel yucky, a little nauseated, crampy and bloated. But that could be anything! Those cheap internet tests are known for giving false positives, so I don't want to do my happy dance or call people yet.
Thank goodness no one reads my blog!
I wasn't even supposed to test until Thursday! ACK! I hope it's truly positive, and not some mead joke like the last one. Only time will tell!
But, the comment gave me that familiar "I want to pee on a stick" tingle. So, I did.
Two lines popped up immediately! So, I took a different brand of test, and no line on that one. I sent it to a tweaker...She pulled a veryveryvery faint line (where the arrow is)
Now I'm stuck in that "Am I or aren't I" limbo. I feel yucky, a little nauseated, crampy and bloated. But that could be anything! Those cheap internet tests are known for giving false positives, so I don't want to do my happy dance or call people yet.
Thank goodness no one reads my blog!
I wasn't even supposed to test until Thursday! ACK! I hope it's truly positive, and not some mead joke like the last one. Only time will tell!
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Or maybe not...
It looks like yesterday's test was wrong. False positive. Positive bummer.
That's alright, though. It just means that we have to keep trying. Who knows? I may still come up positive this month!
Here's a list of things I can still do:
Drink coffee
Drink wine
Sleep on my tummy
Smell food without wanting to puke
Ride rollercoasters
Eat soft cheese
Eat sushi
The list goes on and on!
That's alright, though. It just means that we have to keep trying. Who knows? I may still come up positive this month!
Here's a list of things I can still do:
Drink coffee
Drink wine
Sleep on my tummy
Smell food without wanting to puke
Ride rollercoasters
Eat soft cheese
Eat sushi
The list goes on and on!
Monday, August 6, 2012
Hi, I'm Megan, and I'm a POAS Addict
Trying to conceive is a tricky business - or so I've heard. I've read instances of women trying for YEARS and not being able to make a baby without the help of outside forces. Studies say that there's only a 15% chance of getting pregnant each month. The odds are NOT in your favor.
When we decided that having a baby might not be the worst thing in the world, I stopped taking birth control and let nature takes it's course. Well, nature must have been on the Autobahn, because two weeks later I was pregnant! I was shocked, but excited. Now, she's a smart, bubbly two-year-old, and she's asking for a sister. And a brother. You know, like Dora.
J and I talked about it, and came to the conclusion that Little Toots would be a great big sister. This time, though, we were going to be smart. I planned and plotted, I even made a schedule for when we should *ahem* you know. This was two weeks ago.
Two weeks ago.
If you ever get bored, you should check out some message boards for women trying to conceive. They are amazing! There is this phenomenon called POAS addiction. POAS stands for Pee On A Stick. Yes, that's right. Women go nuts about testing for pregnancy. I have to admit, I'm one of them. I don't know why. I suppose it lets you feel like you're in control of your body. Plus, the sooner you know you're prego, the sooner you can start gorging on pickles and ice cream! Being an addict and enabling my addiction by stock piling pregnancy tests (purchased before we even discussed having another kid, I might add), I decided to POAS.
I'm not expert on fertility or menstrual cycles or anything, but I get the basics. Typically, women have 28 day cycles. Typically, you ovulate on cycle day 14. Typically, you can get a positive pregnancy test on cycle day 24. Typically.
I'm on cycle day 13. Biologically speaking there is no way I could be pregnant right now. And yet, what do I see?
Two little pink lines staring at me.
Is it a fluke? A false positive? Only time, copious amounts of urine, and a new pregnancy test will tell!
I took pictures of my pee stick ( gross, I know, but don't judge!) and I submitted them to these "test tweakers". Basically, they photoshop your pregnancy test to see if they can determine if there really is a positive line. These women are wonderful - and awful. They give hope, crush dreams, and will even decorate a picture for you if it is in fact positive.
Here are the results:
I'm buying more tests after work. It's gonna be a pee party!
When we decided that having a baby might not be the worst thing in the world, I stopped taking birth control and let nature takes it's course. Well, nature must have been on the Autobahn, because two weeks later I was pregnant! I was shocked, but excited. Now, she's a smart, bubbly two-year-old, and she's asking for a sister. And a brother. You know, like Dora.
J and I talked about it, and came to the conclusion that Little Toots would be a great big sister. This time, though, we were going to be smart. I planned and plotted, I even made a schedule for when we should *ahem* you know. This was two weeks ago.
Two weeks ago.
If you ever get bored, you should check out some message boards for women trying to conceive. They are amazing! There is this phenomenon called POAS addiction. POAS stands for Pee On A Stick. Yes, that's right. Women go nuts about testing for pregnancy. I have to admit, I'm one of them. I don't know why. I suppose it lets you feel like you're in control of your body. Plus, the sooner you know you're prego, the sooner you can start gorging on pickles and ice cream! Being an addict and enabling my addiction by stock piling pregnancy tests (purchased before we even discussed having another kid, I might add), I decided to POAS.
I'm not expert on fertility or menstrual cycles or anything, but I get the basics. Typically, women have 28 day cycles. Typically, you ovulate on cycle day 14. Typically, you can get a positive pregnancy test on cycle day 24. Typically.
I'm on cycle day 13. Biologically speaking there is no way I could be pregnant right now. And yet, what do I see?
Two little pink lines staring at me.
Is it a fluke? A false positive? Only time, copious amounts of urine, and a new pregnancy test will tell!
I took pictures of my pee stick ( gross, I know, but don't judge!) and I submitted them to these "test tweakers". Basically, they photoshop your pregnancy test to see if they can determine if there really is a positive line. These women are wonderful - and awful. They give hope, crush dreams, and will even decorate a picture for you if it is in fact positive.
Here are the results:
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Check that off my bucket list!
It's still unbelievable. I really did it! I ran a half marathon!! That's 13.1 miles! To be fair, I didn't run the whole thing - I didn't even try to. My training had been sporadic, so I knew that running the whole thing would be impossible. My game plan was run for 3 minutes, walk for 2. And if that failed, just keep putting one foot in front of the other until I crossed that finish line. Quitting was NOT an option!
I was so nervous at the beginning of the race. I mean, there were all these super-fit, athletic people doing these impressive looking stretches, talking about "fueling" and wearing these water bottle belts. I felt so out of my league! Then, the announcer told all racers to start lining up. Oh my God Ohmygod ohmygod, am I really doing this?!
The music was pumping, and people were cheering. It was pretty exhilarating. The countdown began, and we were off! Well, sort of. There were so many people that it actually took a few minutes for the line to get going. I took a nice, leisurely stroll to the starting point, then I starting jogging. I had a timer app set for my intervals, and it was working nicely. The first 3 miles were around the lake, and it was beautiful. The sun wasn't too hot yet, and there was plenty of shade. It seemed to fly by! In between mile 3 and 4, I ran by the shop that J used to work in, and he was standing out there with Little Toots. Seeing them was just the pick-me-up I needed. I gave Tooties a kiss, and asked what time it was, but J didn't know. I kept running.
At mile 5, I just had to see what time it was. I was thinking it would be like 9:30 because I'm so slow...but it was only 8:48! I ran 5 miles in 48 minutes!! I was super thrilled. Unfortunately, checking the time messed up my interval app, and it started randomly beeping. I completely lost track of if I should be walking or running. At mile 7, I gave in and started walking. I met a young girl whose mother and sister had left her in the dust, so we walked together. At mile 10, I was hurting. My hips were screaming, and my lower back hurt. It was weird - I thought for sure that my feet and calves would cramp, but instead it was my abs and lower back. Now I know what I need to work on!
The last 1.1 mile of the race seemed like it was completely uphill, but I saw J and Tooties again! I made it to the last leg, and I ran across the finish line! It took me 3 hours, 20 minutes and 57 seconds, but I didn't even come in last! Over 100 people finished after me *brushes off shoulder*
Two days later, I'm still sore, but I feel like an Amazon! I'm so proud of myself, and Tooties told me that she wants to run fast like mommy. That makes the blisters and the fatigue worth it!
And crazy me, I think I'm signing up for another 13.1 in October!
I was so nervous at the beginning of the race. I mean, there were all these super-fit, athletic people doing these impressive looking stretches, talking about "fueling" and wearing these water bottle belts. I felt so out of my league! Then, the announcer told all racers to start lining up. Oh my God Ohmygod ohmygod, am I really doing this?!
The music was pumping, and people were cheering. It was pretty exhilarating. The countdown began, and we were off! Well, sort of. There were so many people that it actually took a few minutes for the line to get going. I took a nice, leisurely stroll to the starting point, then I starting jogging. I had a timer app set for my intervals, and it was working nicely. The first 3 miles were around the lake, and it was beautiful. The sun wasn't too hot yet, and there was plenty of shade. It seemed to fly by! In between mile 3 and 4, I ran by the shop that J used to work in, and he was standing out there with Little Toots. Seeing them was just the pick-me-up I needed. I gave Tooties a kiss, and asked what time it was, but J didn't know. I kept running.
At mile 5, I just had to see what time it was. I was thinking it would be like 9:30 because I'm so slow...but it was only 8:48! I ran 5 miles in 48 minutes!! I was super thrilled. Unfortunately, checking the time messed up my interval app, and it started randomly beeping. I completely lost track of if I should be walking or running. At mile 7, I gave in and started walking. I met a young girl whose mother and sister had left her in the dust, so we walked together. At mile 10, I was hurting. My hips were screaming, and my lower back hurt. It was weird - I thought for sure that my feet and calves would cramp, but instead it was my abs and lower back. Now I know what I need to work on!
The last 1.1 mile of the race seemed like it was completely uphill, but I saw J and Tooties again! I made it to the last leg, and I ran across the finish line! It took me 3 hours, 20 minutes and 57 seconds, but I didn't even come in last! Over 100 people finished after me *brushes off shoulder*
Two days later, I'm still sore, but I feel like an Amazon! I'm so proud of myself, and Tooties told me that she wants to run fast like mommy. That makes the blisters and the fatigue worth it!
And crazy me, I think I'm signing up for another 13.1 in October!
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
National Running Day
I'm not running for glory, or to win. I'm running to show my daughter that she can do anything she wants to do. I could tell her that she's strong and beautiful and capable, but how will she ever believe it unless she can actually witness someone (like me) BEING strong and beautiful and capable. I didn't have anyone like that in my life, and I spent much of my youth thinking that OTHER PEOPLE could run 13.1 miles, or write a book, or climb Mt. Everest, but not me. I was plain. I was boring. I was average. Until one day I decided that I don't want to be plain and average, I want to be remarkable. So, even if it means coming in DEAD LAST, I will finish my 13.1 miles to show my daughter that she can do whatever she decides is worth doing.
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